Now a single mom on the outs with the father of her baby, Bristol wants a new kind of happy ending.
“I just want to go out there and promote abstinence and say this is the safest choice,” she said on “Good Morning America.”
“It’s not going to work,” said her ex-boyfriend, Levi Johnston, in a dueling early-morning interview.
If you have ever watched Levi Johnston on TV for two minutes you will appreciate how terrifying it is when he has the most reasonable analysis of a social issue.
Because Bristol’s own philosophy seems, at minimum, tentative, it’s hard to tell whether she believes that cheerleading for abstinence should be coupled with education about birth control methods. She and Levi used condoms, except when they didn’t.
Her mom has said in the past that she opposes “explicit” sex education, which kind of sounds like ... sex education. And while encouraging kids to wait is obviously fine, the evidence is pretty clear that abstinence education is worse than useless. Texas, where virtually all the schools teach abstinence and abstinence alone, is a teen pregnancy disaster zone. “It’s had one of the highest rates for as long as I can remember,” said David Wiley, a professor of health education at Texas State University.
Courtesy Talking Points Memo: "Here's Cameron telling Fox's Shep Smith that while trying to prep Palin for her interviews, McCain's staffers supposedly learned that Palin thought Africa was a country rather than a continent and didn't know what countries were signatories to NAFTA. And there's still more ..."
Obviously pleased with the outcome last night. I started to post something last night, but couldn't come up with anything profound... not surprising, I suppose. I'm a little more reassured about living in the United States now. Turns out that the majority of us can ignore idiotic implications about "past radical associations" and the laughable charges about being a socialist.
Just because a Democrat has been elected does not mean that I think all is right with the world, everything will be fine, and that I will be happy with everything that the Obama Administration does. I'm cautiously optimistic, but there will be the inevitable disappointments.
The early indications are that Rahm Emanuel will be offered the position of Chief of Staff. I'm willing to be persuaded, but this might be his first mistake. Emanuel worked for Bill Clinton's White House and was responsible for pushing NAFTA and other not-so-liberal policies. Not a great sign. He knows the House of Representatives well and would push back against Pelosi if needed, but I guess we'll just have to see.
Many people have said that Larry Summers will be picked as the new Treasury Secretary, and I'm not so sure about that either. I'd favor Bob Reich, former Secretary of Labor, but he probably won't get it. I don't think it would ever be offered to someone like economist and Nobel laureate Paul Krugman - whose columns I often link to here - although I don't really see why not.
Like many others, I'm very curious what the first priorities will be, or whether there will be a flurry of activity on all fronts. The wheels are certainly greased with the expanded Democratic majority, so hopefully the right things will get done quickly. Congressional Dems want to pass a stimulus package, but I don't think we need more small checks mailed to everyone. I think they should work on the infrastructure improvements that Obama promised - upgrading roads and bridges, hopefully a focus on a better and broader rail system that isn't so confined to the east coast, as well as broadband lines for rural communities.
I'm not overly encouraged about the prospects of any kind of education reform/progress. The rhetoric seemed in line with the status quo during the campaign. This has become more obvious to me as a vital issue since I've decided to enter the field.
Environmental initiatives need to be put into place within the first year - otherwise everything could conceivably fall back with a Republican congressional victory in 2010. Things are only getting further and further out of hand, and I haven't seen much to demonstrate Obama's focus on the issue. Perhaps he simply wasn't spending much time on it because it wasn't big issue with voters, but climate change is likely the most pressing crisis... it's just that the pace of the pressing is too slow for people to notice when their minds are on the economic downturn.
Obama's main interest seems to be in foreign policy. I don't recall hearing much from Obama on the subject of missle defense, but I'm very interested to see how he feels about what the Russian president had to say today/yesterday on the subject. His first statement about the Russian/Georgian situation was much more measured and careful than McCain's simplistic (and wrong) posturing, but then Obama came nearer to the ignorance of McCain/Scheunemann's position (that it was all 'Russian aggression'). Hopefully he'll be able to back off from that now that he's not campaigning (he was obviously worried about being seen as weak or "appeasing" Russia). Most people who have read anything about the conflict know that it's a hell of a lot more complicated than what McCain was telling Americans, especially his "We're all Georgians today" load of crap.
Pakistan and Afghanistan will be the most problematic, and could overshadow everything else if there is another attack in this country. If you want to know what the US faces, I would recommend reading this or watching this as an introduction.
I'd love to play analyst for a bit longer, but I have so much work that I've neglected... and now I have to get ready for class.
I congratulate Barack Obama and wish him the best of luck.
I should warn you that if you find humor in the column below, you must obviously be an elitist snob. You must be someone who sips Chablis and eats arugula after buying it at Whole Foods Market and driving home in your Prius.
Or not. But of course that's how many Obama supporters are routinely caricatured on cable news. There are so many ridiculous imagined voting blocs... Reagan Democrats, Lunch-Bucket Democrats, NASCAR dads, soccer moms, hockey moms, Wal*Mart moms, wine-drinkers, beer-drinkers. The discussions frequently tread into the the land of the absurd.
The satire below reflects the Palin interview with Charles (or Charlie, as Palin repeatedly called him during their conversations) Gibson, and her standard stump speech, which has been minimally altered since the Republican convention. Anyway, read and enjoy.
Explaining how she felt when John McCain offered her the Vice-Presidential spot, my Vice-Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, said something very profound: “I answered him ‘Yes’ because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink. So I didn’t blink then even when asked to run as his running mate.”
Isn’t that so true? I know that many times, in my life, while living it, someone would come up and, because of I had good readiness, in terms of how I was wired, when they asked that—whatever they asked—I would just not blink, because, knowing that, if I did blink, or even wink, that is weakness, therefore you can’t, you just don’t. You could, but no—you aren’t.
That is just how I am.
Do you know the difference between me and a Hockey Mom who has forgot her lipstick?
A dog collar.
Do you know the difference between me and a dog collar smeared with lipstick?
Not a damn thing.
We are essentially wired identical.
So, when Barack Obama says he will put some lipstick on my pig, I am, like, Are you calling me a pig? If so, thanks! Pigs are the most non-Élite of all barnyard animals. And also, if you put lipstick on my pig, do you know what the difference will be between that pig and a pit bull? I’ll tell you: a pit bull can easily kill a pig. And, as the pig dies, guess what the Hockey Mom is doing? Going to her car, putting on more lipstick, so that, upon returning, finding that pig dead, she once again looks identical to that pit bull, which, staying on mission, the two of them step over the dead pig, looking exactly like twins, except the pit bull is scratching his lower ass with one frantic leg, whereas the Hockey Mom is carrying an extra hockey stick in case Todd breaks his again. But both are going, like, Ha ha, where’s that dumb pig now? Dead, that’s who, and also: not a smidge of lipstick.
A lose-lose for the pig.
There’s a lesson in that, I think.
Who does that pig represent, and that collar, and that Hockey Mom, and that pit bull?
You figure it out. Then give me a call.
Seriously, give me a call.
Now, let us discuss the Élites. There are two kinds of folks: Élites and Regulars. Why people love Sarah Palin is, she is a Regular. That is also why they love me. She did not go to some Élite Ivy League college, which I also did not. Her and me, actually, did not go to the very same Ivy League school. Although she is younger than me, so therefore she didn’t go there slightly earlier than I didn’t go there. But, had I been younger, we possibly could have not graduated in the exact same class. That would have been fun. Sarah Palin is hot. Hot for a politician. Or someone you just see in a store. But, happily, I did not go to college at all, having not finished high school, due to I killed a man. But had I gone to college, trust me, it would not have been some Ivy League Élite-breeding factory but, rather, a community college in danger of losing its accreditation, built right on a fault zone, riddled with asbestos, and also, the crack-addicted professors are all dyslexic.
Sarah Palin was also the mayor of a very small town. To tell the truth, this is where my qualifications begin to outstrip even hers. I have never been the mayor of anything. I can’t even spell right. I had help with the above, but now— Murray, note to Murray: do not correct what follows. Lets shoe the people how I rilly spel Mooray and punshuate so thay can c how reglar I am, and ther 4 fit to leed the nashun, do to: not sum mistir fansy pans.
OK Mooray. Get corecting agin!
Thanks, Murray, you’re fabulous. Very good at what you do. Actually, Murray, come to think of it, you are so good, I suspect you are some kind of Élite. You are fired, Murray, as soon as this article is done. I’m going to hire someone Regular, who is not so excellent, and lives off the salt of the land and the fat of his brow and the sweat of his earth. Although I hope he’s not a screw-up.
I’m finding it hard to concentrate, as my eyes are killing me, due to I have not blinked since I started writing this. And, me being Regular, it takes a long time for me to write something this long.
Where was I? Ah, yes: I hate Élites. Which is why, whenever I am having brain surgery, or eye surgery, which is sometimes necessary due to all my non-blinking, I always hire some random Regular guy, with shaking hands if possible, who is also a drunk, scared of the sight of blood, and harbors a secret dislike for me.
Now, let’s talk about slogans. Ours is: Country First. Think about it. When you think of what should come first, what does? Us ourselves? No. That would be selfish. Our personal families? Selfish. God? God is good, I love Him, but, as our slogan suggests, no, sorry, God, You are not First. No, you don’t, Lord! How about: the common good of all mankind! Is that First? Don’t make me laugh with your weak blinking! No! Mercy is not First and wisdom is not First and love is super but way near the back, and ditto with patience and discernment and compassion and all that happy crap, they are all back behind Country, in the back of my S.U.V., which— Here is an example! Say I am about to run over a nun or orphan, or an orphan who grew up to become a nun—which I admire that, that is cool, good bootstrapping there, Sister—but then God or whomever goes, “It is My will that you hit that orphaned nun, do not ask Me why, don’t you dare, and I say unto thee, if you do not hit that nun, via a skillful swerve, your Country is going to suffer, and don’t ask Me how, specifically, as I have not decided that yet!” Well, I am going to do my best to get that nun in one felt swope, because, at the Convention, at which my Vice-Presidential candidate kicked mucho butt, what did the signs there say? Did they say “Orphaned Nuns First” and then there is a picture of a sad little nun with a hobo pack?
Not in my purview.
Sarah Palin knows a little something about God’s will, knowing God quite well, from their work together on that natural-gas pipeline, and what God wills is: Country First. And not just any country! There was a slight error on our signage. Other countries, such as that one they have in France, reading our slogan, if they can even read real words, might be all, like, “Hey, bonjour, they are saying we can put our country, France, first!” Non, non, non, France! What we are saying is, you’d better put our country first, you merde-heads, or soon there will be so much lipstick on your pit bulls it will make your berets spin!
In summary: Because my candidate, unlike your winking/blinking Vice-Presidential candidate, who, though, yes, he did run as the running mate when the one asking him to run did ask him to run, which that I admire, one thing he did not do, with his bare hands or otherwise, is, did he ever kill a moose? No, but ours did. And I would. Please bring a moose to me, over by me, and down that moose will go, and, if I had a kid, I would take a picture of me showing my kid that dead moose, going, like, Uh, sweetie, no, he is not resting, he is dead, due to I shot him, and now I am going to eat him, and so are you, oh yes you are, which is responsible, as God put this moose here for us to shoot and eat and take a photo of, although I did not, at that time, know why God did, but in years to come, God’s will was revealed, which is: Hey, that is a cool photo for hunters about to vote to see, plus what an honor for that moose, to be on the Internet.
How does the moose feel about it? Who knows? Probably not great. But do you know what the difference is between a dead moose with lipstick on and a dead moose without lipstick?
Lipstick.
Think about it.
Moose are, truth be told, Élites. They are big and fast and sort of rule the forest. Sarah took that one down a notch. Who’s Élite now, Bullwinkle?
Well, it seems that actual facts, presented in writing, are not enough to dissuade people from continuing to make false claims. Despite the fact that Palin was a supporter of the "Bridge to Nowhere" project in Alaska, and the fact that Palin hired lobbyists to secure just under $27 million in earmarks for her small town of Wasilla while she was a mayor, both McCain and Palin have been touting her "maverick" and "reformer" credentials (and specifically misrepresenting her stand on the bridge) in campaign advertisements and at various campaign events.
So, perhaps now that video is available to refute the false claims the Republicans are making, maybe now we'll get a little pushback. I admit, the laughter at the end is a bit much. Let's focus on what McCain and Palin are actually saying.
Maybe you heard McCain has claiming that Palin sold the state's private plane on eBay, for a profit. Palin herself was careful in her speech at the RNC to say that she "put it on eBay" and did not mention selling it. The reason for such reticence? Well, she listed the plane on eBay three times and failed to sell it. The aircraft was finally sold at a loss.
Maybe you heard McCain claim that Palin has foreign policy experience because Alaska is next to Russia (across the Bering Strait) and she has "commanded the Alaskan National Guard." Well, the thing is - Sarah Palin never issued any orders to the National Guard in her state.
I won't use this post to address Palin's belief in creationism or to talk about her church's stance on praying away homosexuality, but you may do your own research.
