Dean's List

Billy Dean goes to Fredonia. Most of you know who this is, but some may not. Bill was the stereotypical nerd/geek kind of guy when we were growing up. This developed as early as second or third grade, but not before that. In kindergarten or first grade, I remember he was "going out with" (probably a dumb expression at that age - but they called themselves girlfriend and boyfriend) a girl named Melissa Johnson, who lived near him. This is something I recall fairly vividly, since I liked Melissa quite a bit at age 5 and 6. She was pretty much the guest of honor at my 6th birthday party, which was held at McDonald's; she was the person I wanted most to show up. If it would have been just her and I, I would have been more than happy. I believe my grandparents have pictures of the party. She gave me a brown and white striped turtleneck, which I think I wore for my next school picture. Melissa went on to fail one of the early grades for some reason. I don't know why, because she wasn't dumb. Now she's apparently good friends with Destini and they go out to the bars from time to time. Wow! My memory is filled with a bunch of that crap. Anyway, at some point in grade school, Bill became the object of ridicule. He didn't speak very well, had bad breath, and also managed to spit a great deal when he did attempt to speak. Needless to say, he got picked on a lot. I'm ashamed to say that I was one of the people that picked on him. I was not as malicious as some, but I wasn't exactly nice, either. In fifth grade, he threw a chair off the stage after Mike Short made him very angry. He was harassed a lot that year, and I remember wanting to be 'cool' or fit in and lying on one occasion for Mike's benefit after Bill accused him of doing something. Mrs. Schulz (I think that's how she spelled it, but I could be wrong) liked me a great deal, and she asked me if what Bill said was true, and I said it was not. I remember feeling very guilty about that, and obviously for me to still remember it, it must have made quite an impression on me. I still regret lying that day. It certainly didn't make me cool or even get me to fit in for more than a day or two, since I also remember Mike threatening to beat me up later that year. One year in elementary school, Billy's mother was a substitute teacher. She brought in a guitar and made us sing (I really don't know how to spell this) Kumbaya I'm pretty sure there are laws against that, but I didn't know about those then. I remember her telling us not to pick on Bill so much. She told us that he had had a couple surgeries to fix the various problems with his mouth/teeth/jaw and that's why he spoke (and spat) the way he did. So later, in eighth or ninth grade, Bill got shoved into a locker or something and dislocated his shoulder. I don't know exactly what happened, since I wasn't there. But I do know that Bill dislocated both shoulders, and one shoulder was dislocated on two different occasions. I have heard that lawsuits were filed against the offending parties, but I have no actual knowledge of this. I know that Billy threatened Jim Ribaudo in ninth grade or thereabouts and vowed (this was obviously pre-Columbine era) that he was going to bring in a gun to kill him and others. On other occassions, Billy claimed to have been visited by, and spoken to, Jesus Christ. I think I'll refrain from commenting on that. At one point on the school bus, I had angered him in some way and he brought his skinny arm up to gain a tenuous grasp on my neck. Curious, I listened as he spluttered, "I could kill you right now." I laughed, and smacked his hand away with little effort. He looked very defeated. At JCC, Billy quickly developed a reputation for going after the Asian girls on campus. My friends and I speculated that he did this because he figured they were in no position to determine just how odd he was. In April, Bill was arrested for fraud at Office Max, where he was involved in a scam with gift cards and the merchandise purchased with them that totaled roughly $10,000. During the second week of school, we had "Activities Night" at Fredonia. This is held in the Williams Center. Basically, all the organizations on campus have tables and try to recruit people to join their groups. I was at a table for the Fredonia College Democrats (I'm now the 'Co-Vice President', which is the most bogus title I can think of) when Billy Dean approached me and said something like, "Wyatt! I always thought you were smart! I figured you'd be a Republican! What are you doing here?!" I didn't say a word, even though every cheap insult in the world was racing through my mind. When I didn't reply, he went on to tell me that he's in "Pre-Law" and is going to go to Columbia Law School when he's done with Fredonia. This was very, very close to being just too much for me to take, and I had to really restrain myself from saying, "wow Bill, that should really save you some money next time you have to be in court - you can represent yourself..." And I did restrain myself. I figured the kid's been through enough in his life, and I don't need to add any more to it. I just said, "That's good, Bill. That's great." That's been it, except for passing him on a sidewalk and saying hello. Tonight, I got an email from http://facebook.com telling me that William Dean had requested to add me as a friend. Normal practice in this situation, according to proper Facebook etiquette, is to confirm everyone who requests to add you. But I was so aghast that Billy Dean thought of me as his pal and in my confusion, I sent him the following message via the Facebook service: Bill, Perhaps you don't remember coming up to me and saying, "I always thought you were smart - how could you be a Democrat?!" Do you recall this particular exchange? I refrained from returning with any of the multitude of insults that I could have used to respond, and just shook my head. I know you had a rough time in school, and I realize that at certain times in my life I contributed to that. I regret being an asshole to you and to a lot of people. However, I regret those things a hell of a lot less when you act like you did on activities night. I realize that your experiences growing up probably made you hostile toward others, but in comparison to a lot of other people, I think I was fairly decent (eg - I didn't break or dislocate anything of yours and was never a defendant in a lawsuit brought by you or your family), and such an attack was not warranted. Anyway, I know I'm supposed to confirm every friend request I get, just to be polite - and hey, I know I don't get very many because several people on campus routinely think that I'm 30 years old and for that reason among others, I don't make a ton of friends... but I don't understand the progression of you essentially calling me an idiot and then adding me as a friend on Facebook. What gives? Couple that with your obvious devotion to several things which I abhor - politically and ideologically (and the reverse is probably true as well), and I am further confounded. The temptation in getting on Facebook is to search around and add every single person that you've ever met in your entire life, even if you haven't spoken to them (and didn't intend to) in years. I also know that everyone likes to have "_______ has 298 friends" next to their name. I've never really gotten into doing that though. I've always considered it presumptuous to "add" people as friends that I'm not ACTUALLY friendly with. For that reason, I normally wait for others to add me, just so I'm not assuming anything. It's the same reason I usually wait for other people to say hi to me before I say hi to them, which may even have the unintended consequence of some people viewing me as aloof or standoffish, though I am not. Anyway Bill, I think I WILL add you as a friend on Facebook, because it would probably be quite impolite NOT to do so. I just wanted you to know exactly how I felt about the whole thing. _________________ That's about it for now.