Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Courtesy of Crooks & Liars
Bush lampooned on Family Guy
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/11/29.html#a6101
Brian: "Don't worry Lois, I'm good at finding people. I was the one who found Bush after Hurricane Katrina."
Brian: "Uh, Mr. President, are you up there?"
Bush: (face half hidden in treehouse window) "Go away!"
Brian: "Sir, there's a disaster in New Orleans."
Bush: "I'm readin' Superfudge!"
Brian: "You gotta come down and deal with this."
Bush: (lowers further in window) "Don't make me do stuff!"
James Dobson, of Focus on the Family and SpongeBob (in)famy, may be in tax trouble.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/11/28.html#a6084
Tom Delay calls Duke Cunningham "a hero." Cunningham resigned from Congress yesterday, admitting to accepting $2.3 million in bribes.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/11/28.html#a6092
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/11/29.html#a6101
Brian: "Don't worry Lois, I'm good at finding people. I was the one who found Bush after Hurricane Katrina."
Brian: "Uh, Mr. President, are you up there?"
Bush: (face half hidden in treehouse window) "Go away!"
Brian: "Sir, there's a disaster in New Orleans."
Bush: "I'm readin' Superfudge!"
Brian: "You gotta come down and deal with this."
Bush: (lowers further in window) "Don't make me do stuff!"
James Dobson, of Focus on the Family and SpongeBob (in)famy, may be in tax trouble.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/11/28.html#a6084
Tom Delay calls Duke Cunningham "a hero." Cunningham resigned from Congress yesterday, admitting to accepting $2.3 million in bribes.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/11/28.html#a6092
60 Minutes on Plan B
Crooks and Liars has the video. I happened to catch this last Sunday. The piece was very well done. If you haven't heard about it, the FDA has refused to grant permission for Plan B to be sold over the counter. Plan B is an emergency contraceptive that must be taken within the first 72 hours after sex in order for it to be effective. It is essentially a concentrated dose of the same drugs used for birth control pills. Studies have found it to be just as safe as birth control, and its legal sale over the counter (it is currently available only by prescription) could go a long way toward reducing the number of abortions in this country.
However, it seems that some pharmacists are refusing to dispense this medication on "moral grounds." There actually is an "abortion pill" (RU-486), but they are referring to Plan B in the same terms when it is actually far different.
60 Minutes went to various pharmacies with a prescription and was denied every time but one. In one case, a man told the woman that he could order it for her, but it would "take several days," after which time, of course, it would be of no use.
The pharmacies were in Kentucky, which is the home state of Dr. Hager, an Ob-Gyn appointed to the FDA. Hager's minority opinion written in dissent to the overwhelming approval of an FDA committee for Plan B's OTC application. His objections were adopted by Dr. Lester Crawford, head of the FDA - another Bush appointee, which is why Plan B is still not available over the counter.
Here's an article about what kind of guy Dr. Hager is. This is a little sample:
---Hager cast himself as a victim of religious persecution in his sermon. "You see...there is a war going on in this country," he said gravely. "And I'm not speaking about the war in Iraq. It's a war being waged against Christians, particularly evangelical Christians. It wasn't my scientific record that came under scrutiny [at the FDA]. It was my faith.... By making myself available, God has used me to stand in the breach.... Just as he has used me, he can use you."
Up on the dais, several men seated behind Hager nodded solemnly in agreement. But out in the audience, Linda Carruth Davis--co-author with Hager of Stress and the Woman's Body, and, more saliently, his former wife of thirty-two years--was enraged. "It was the most disgusting thing I've ever heard," she recalled months later, through clenched teeth. ---
- Read the article to find out why she's upset -
---In his private practice back in Kentucky, Hager doesn't prescribe emergency contraception, because he believes it is an abortifacient, and, not surprisingly, his was one of the four votes against widening its availability. But rather than voice his ethical opposition to the product, Hager emphasized his concern about adolescents, which other committee members have since called a "political fig leaf." According to Dr. James Trussell, who voted in favor of Plan B, the FDA had at hand six studies examining whether teens as young as 15 would increase their "risky" behavior if they knew they had a backup emergency contraceptive--and none of the studies showed any evidence for that contention.
In his sermon at Asbury College last fall, Hager proudly recounted his role in the Plan B decision. "After two days of hearings," he said, "the committees voted to approve this over-the-counter sale by 23 to 4. I was asked to write a minority opinion that was sent to the commissioner of the FDA.... Now the opinion I wrote was not from an evangelical Christian perspective.... But I argued it from a scientific perspective, and God took that information, and He used it through this minority report to influence the decision." [Emphasis added.]---
However, it seems that some pharmacists are refusing to dispense this medication on "moral grounds." There actually is an "abortion pill" (RU-486), but they are referring to Plan B in the same terms when it is actually far different.
60 Minutes went to various pharmacies with a prescription and was denied every time but one. In one case, a man told the woman that he could order it for her, but it would "take several days," after which time, of course, it would be of no use.
The pharmacies were in Kentucky, which is the home state of Dr. Hager, an Ob-Gyn appointed to the FDA. Hager's minority opinion written in dissent to the overwhelming approval of an FDA committee for Plan B's OTC application. His objections were adopted by Dr. Lester Crawford, head of the FDA - another Bush appointee, which is why Plan B is still not available over the counter.
Here's an article about what kind of guy Dr. Hager is. This is a little sample:
---Hager cast himself as a victim of religious persecution in his sermon. "You see...there is a war going on in this country," he said gravely. "And I'm not speaking about the war in Iraq. It's a war being waged against Christians, particularly evangelical Christians. It wasn't my scientific record that came under scrutiny [at the FDA]. It was my faith.... By making myself available, God has used me to stand in the breach.... Just as he has used me, he can use you."
Up on the dais, several men seated behind Hager nodded solemnly in agreement. But out in the audience, Linda Carruth Davis--co-author with Hager of Stress and the Woman's Body, and, more saliently, his former wife of thirty-two years--was enraged. "It was the most disgusting thing I've ever heard," she recalled months later, through clenched teeth. ---
- Read the article to find out why she's upset -
---In his private practice back in Kentucky, Hager doesn't prescribe emergency contraception, because he believes it is an abortifacient, and, not surprisingly, his was one of the four votes against widening its availability. But rather than voice his ethical opposition to the product, Hager emphasized his concern about adolescents, which other committee members have since called a "political fig leaf." According to Dr. James Trussell, who voted in favor of Plan B, the FDA had at hand six studies examining whether teens as young as 15 would increase their "risky" behavior if they knew they had a backup emergency contraceptive--and none of the studies showed any evidence for that contention.
In his sermon at Asbury College last fall, Hager proudly recounted his role in the Plan B decision. "After two days of hearings," he said, "the committees voted to approve this over-the-counter sale by 23 to 4. I was asked to write a minority opinion that was sent to the commissioner of the FDA.... Now the opinion I wrote was not from an evangelical Christian perspective.... But I argued it from a scientific perspective, and God took that information, and He used it through this minority report to influence the decision." [Emphasis added.]---
Monday, November 28, 2005
Self-Censorship
Well, you might guess what this is about.
Truthfully, I did have some reservations about my last post, knowing that there was a possibility that I would hear some complaints about what I wrote. As she hung up on me tonight, she said derisively that I would probably write about the conversation, "since I write about everything else on there." Quite a nasty tone, unfortunately.
Well - I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone.
But seriously... in one of my earliest posts on this blog, I said that I would avoid censoring myself and would write about whatever topic I felt like writing about. Obviously, this has the potential to cause some problems with people, especially those that access this space on any kind of regular basis. However, I thought it was much more important for me to be able to have somewhere to talk about what's on my mind at any given time, to discuss things that interest me that are going on in the news, and to relate stories and experiences from my own life. Above all, it was imperative that I be allowed to do this without constant paranoia that I should avoid talking about certain things. Yes, there are things that even I won't talk about on here, believe it or not - but the whole point of that little subheading below the Zepcowboy title - "didn't anyone ever tell you..." is that this is my spot to talk about whatever I damn well please. Yes, I talk about people I know here. I talk about myself as well. I talk about things that I'm proud of and things I'm not proud of. I don't post everything I do throughout the entire day, because that would be ridiculous. But once in a while, I'll write some stuff and throw it on here. I talk about stupid things I've done on here, and I talk about stupid things other people do. I talk about things that I want to talk about, and that's not going to change. I'm a lot less offensive than a large portion of things you might see on the internet. And most of the time when any normal person sees this much uninterrupted text, they turn around and go somewhere else.
Just as an aside while I'm thinking about it, since I forgot to formally reply in the comments section when I got the message a few days ago... Amy, it's very gracious of you to offer your help and knowledge of DC even though - as you put it - we don't get along. I'm sorry that we don't, but I think we both agree we're more than capable of being civil to each other, and that's good.
Anyway - I don't think that I wrote anything that mischaracterized anything that anyone said or did in my last post, and the subjective bits were quite obviously instances where I was choosing to offer an opinion. I never asserted in that post, contrary to any mistaken interpretation, that anyone was a slut. I did offer some general thoughts and specifically my opinion of the message that a so-called sorority spot/tramp stamp/whore patch tat sends to most guys when they see it. These thoughts and this opinion was absolutely nothing different from what I had previously said personally to Chelsea when she initially told me that she wanted to get a tattoo, in the intervening weeks before her birthday, and once again after she got the tattoo - accompanied of course by the same guy that she had described to me on multiple occasions as an unemployed, abusive, cheating former boyfriend with whom she wished to have no further contact (not least of all because he had first choked her and then later punched her in what she said were her two previous encounters with him).
Again - these are all facts. One may certainly take issue with opinions and editorial comments, but to protest the statement of facts seems quite foolish. It may follow that an unfortunate side effect of the presentation of these facts leads to a negative impression of any of the individuals mentioned. However, I'm not making any of this up. It all happened. This is not what idiotic street thugs can refer to as "talking shit" (unless facts are shit, in which case I would suppose that we're all out of luck). Talking shit would imply that I am trading in rumors and falsehoods, which I am not.
To jump back for just a second - Joy obviously has a tattoo in that location, and other tattoos in other locations. This is well known; she has had them for years, and she got the tattoo on her back before it became trendy and popular to do so. Not in this post, nor in any other post, do I intend or would I ever impugn her character. I think of her very highly and remember my time with her fondly and am sorry I that I did not treat her better than I did. She is a good person.
Really, I think Chelsea is at heart a good person as well. She seems to have a few problems with honesty, which are unfortunate, but I'm sure that she can overcome them eventually if she tries. I really do wish that we would have had more in common and could have talked more freely with each other than we seemed to feel comfortable with when we were together. Something I speculated about to her was that intimacy after too brief a time can cut development and growth in other areas of a relationship. I don't know if that was the case with us or if it simply would never have worked. I think she's a beautiful girl, but I was perhaps too skeptical too early about too many things. Of course the other factor was that she did not seem to be over (or at the very least - free of - her ex when we got together). I don't know where the blame lies there. It may not be anyone's fault; it may be a simple question of time.
I may be called a social conservative or a prude or something else by some for my position on tattoos. Hey - everyone is free to do what they want to their own body, and I am free to have my own opinions about the things that they do. I am merely of the belief that the woman I marry or at least am with for a long-term commitment - if there ever is one again - will most likely (I could never say never, just in case) be un-inked, especially in the particular region I've been talking about. Obviously there is a possibility that things could and will turn out differently, and I can't rule anything out completely. I'm just saying most likely. It's not something I find appealing.
On a relevant topic, Matt K is in a TA group/seminar/something/(niner...?) in which there was a discussion about the way girls dress, how they view themselves, and what kinds of impressions or messages they believe they're sending when they dress in certain ways. He could explain this a lot better than I'm doing now, but basically it seems as though the girls who dress the most provocatively profess to have no idea how they're being viewed and thought of by men and even other women. Contrary to what many guys might believe, which is that a woman may stop in front of a mirror and mentally say to herself, "gee, my breasts are hanging out of this shirt - I'm sure to get hit on tonight" - most of these women are seemingly oblivious, or they're lying. I was there when Matt questioned one of our friends regarding this topic, and she admitted that she was somewhat concerned that other girls may be dressed "better" than her when she goes out. When pressed to describe just what "better" meant, she eventually said "sexier."
As Turck pointed out, some girls who are dressing "better" in order to compete with others are effectively driving away some of the "nice guys" who often develop mistaken impressions about just what kind of personality these girls have. At the same time, they may be attracting guys they are likely to be disappointed by, since the guys believe they're going for the "easy lay." I thought this was an excellent point, and one that I've often thought about. I'm often dissuaded from even considering hanging around or talking to certain girls, based primarily on the way they've chosen to dress themselves to go out. It may be completely unfair, but first impressions rule most encounters, and I think that's true of most people. It's hard to recover any substantial amount of respect after you're seen in a spaghetti-strap top and bare midriff in borderline freezing conditions.
I think this is one of the things I was trying to communicate before. We live in a culture where you are labeled by people almost immediately. This is unfortunate, but it is fact. Virtually everyone is guilty of doing this many times throughout the day. I freely admit that I engage in this practice much more than I should, often dismissing people before I have even heard them speak. I seem to be much more narrow-minded in practice than I am in theory, and I have to work hard to overcome this.
Where was I? Ah yes - so I briefly considered editing the post and changing the names to protect the not-so-innocent. But I decided not to, since this is my little corner of the world in which to dwell. Rest at ease - very few people read this, and most of them are quite close friends and this is nothing different from what I would say in person, except here I get to ramble on and on and on and talk about anything I want, including my innermost thoughts about Led Zeppelin or anything else, and I don't have to worry about boring anyone, since no one's being forced to continue reading my never-ending run-on sentences. Anyone else who might be reading this has no remote idea who the hell I'm talking about and this is all just good soap opera material.
I think I'll stop now. I had some other things I was going to say, but I think I've hit the major points.
Truthfully, I did have some reservations about my last post, knowing that there was a possibility that I would hear some complaints about what I wrote. As she hung up on me tonight, she said derisively that I would probably write about the conversation, "since I write about everything else on there." Quite a nasty tone, unfortunately.
Well - I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone.
But seriously... in one of my earliest posts on this blog, I said that I would avoid censoring myself and would write about whatever topic I felt like writing about. Obviously, this has the potential to cause some problems with people, especially those that access this space on any kind of regular basis. However, I thought it was much more important for me to be able to have somewhere to talk about what's on my mind at any given time, to discuss things that interest me that are going on in the news, and to relate stories and experiences from my own life. Above all, it was imperative that I be allowed to do this without constant paranoia that I should avoid talking about certain things. Yes, there are things that even I won't talk about on here, believe it or not - but the whole point of that little subheading below the Zepcowboy title - "didn't anyone ever tell you..." is that this is my spot to talk about whatever I damn well please. Yes, I talk about people I know here. I talk about myself as well. I talk about things that I'm proud of and things I'm not proud of. I don't post everything I do throughout the entire day, because that would be ridiculous. But once in a while, I'll write some stuff and throw it on here. I talk about stupid things I've done on here, and I talk about stupid things other people do. I talk about things that I want to talk about, and that's not going to change. I'm a lot less offensive than a large portion of things you might see on the internet. And most of the time when any normal person sees this much uninterrupted text, they turn around and go somewhere else.
Just as an aside while I'm thinking about it, since I forgot to formally reply in the comments section when I got the message a few days ago... Amy, it's very gracious of you to offer your help and knowledge of DC even though - as you put it - we don't get along. I'm sorry that we don't, but I think we both agree we're more than capable of being civil to each other, and that's good.
Anyway - I don't think that I wrote anything that mischaracterized anything that anyone said or did in my last post, and the subjective bits were quite obviously instances where I was choosing to offer an opinion. I never asserted in that post, contrary to any mistaken interpretation, that anyone was a slut. I did offer some general thoughts and specifically my opinion of the message that a so-called sorority spot/tramp stamp/whore patch tat sends to most guys when they see it. These thoughts and this opinion was absolutely nothing different from what I had previously said personally to Chelsea when she initially told me that she wanted to get a tattoo, in the intervening weeks before her birthday, and once again after she got the tattoo - accompanied of course by the same guy that she had described to me on multiple occasions as an unemployed, abusive, cheating former boyfriend with whom she wished to have no further contact (not least of all because he had first choked her and then later punched her in what she said were her two previous encounters with him).
Again - these are all facts. One may certainly take issue with opinions and editorial comments, but to protest the statement of facts seems quite foolish. It may follow that an unfortunate side effect of the presentation of these facts leads to a negative impression of any of the individuals mentioned. However, I'm not making any of this up. It all happened. This is not what idiotic street thugs can refer to as "talking shit" (unless facts are shit, in which case I would suppose that we're all out of luck). Talking shit would imply that I am trading in rumors and falsehoods, which I am not.
To jump back for just a second - Joy obviously has a tattoo in that location, and other tattoos in other locations. This is well known; she has had them for years, and she got the tattoo on her back before it became trendy and popular to do so. Not in this post, nor in any other post, do I intend or would I ever impugn her character. I think of her very highly and remember my time with her fondly and am sorry I that I did not treat her better than I did. She is a good person.
Really, I think Chelsea is at heart a good person as well. She seems to have a few problems with honesty, which are unfortunate, but I'm sure that she can overcome them eventually if she tries. I really do wish that we would have had more in common and could have talked more freely with each other than we seemed to feel comfortable with when we were together. Something I speculated about to her was that intimacy after too brief a time can cut development and growth in other areas of a relationship. I don't know if that was the case with us or if it simply would never have worked. I think she's a beautiful girl, but I was perhaps too skeptical too early about too many things. Of course the other factor was that she did not seem to be over (or at the very least - free of - her ex when we got together). I don't know where the blame lies there. It may not be anyone's fault; it may be a simple question of time.
I may be called a social conservative or a prude or something else by some for my position on tattoos. Hey - everyone is free to do what they want to their own body, and I am free to have my own opinions about the things that they do. I am merely of the belief that the woman I marry or at least am with for a long-term commitment - if there ever is one again - will most likely (I could never say never, just in case) be un-inked, especially in the particular region I've been talking about. Obviously there is a possibility that things could and will turn out differently, and I can't rule anything out completely. I'm just saying most likely. It's not something I find appealing.
On a relevant topic, Matt K is in a TA group/seminar/something/(niner...?) in which there was a discussion about the way girls dress, how they view themselves, and what kinds of impressions or messages they believe they're sending when they dress in certain ways. He could explain this a lot better than I'm doing now, but basically it seems as though the girls who dress the most provocatively profess to have no idea how they're being viewed and thought of by men and even other women. Contrary to what many guys might believe, which is that a woman may stop in front of a mirror and mentally say to herself, "gee, my breasts are hanging out of this shirt - I'm sure to get hit on tonight" - most of these women are seemingly oblivious, or they're lying. I was there when Matt questioned one of our friends regarding this topic, and she admitted that she was somewhat concerned that other girls may be dressed "better" than her when she goes out. When pressed to describe just what "better" meant, she eventually said "sexier."
As Turck pointed out, some girls who are dressing "better" in order to compete with others are effectively driving away some of the "nice guys" who often develop mistaken impressions about just what kind of personality these girls have. At the same time, they may be attracting guys they are likely to be disappointed by, since the guys believe they're going for the "easy lay." I thought this was an excellent point, and one that I've often thought about. I'm often dissuaded from even considering hanging around or talking to certain girls, based primarily on the way they've chosen to dress themselves to go out. It may be completely unfair, but first impressions rule most encounters, and I think that's true of most people. It's hard to recover any substantial amount of respect after you're seen in a spaghetti-strap top and bare midriff in borderline freezing conditions.
I think this is one of the things I was trying to communicate before. We live in a culture where you are labeled by people almost immediately. This is unfortunate, but it is fact. Virtually everyone is guilty of doing this many times throughout the day. I freely admit that I engage in this practice much more than I should, often dismissing people before I have even heard them speak. I seem to be much more narrow-minded in practice than I am in theory, and I have to work hard to overcome this.
Where was I? Ah yes - so I briefly considered editing the post and changing the names to protect the not-so-innocent. But I decided not to, since this is my little corner of the world in which to dwell. Rest at ease - very few people read this, and most of them are quite close friends and this is nothing different from what I would say in person, except here I get to ramble on and on and on and talk about anything I want, including my innermost thoughts about Led Zeppelin or anything else, and I don't have to worry about boring anyone, since no one's being forced to continue reading my never-ending run-on sentences. Anyone else who might be reading this has no remote idea who the hell I'm talking about and this is all just good soap opera material.
I think I'll stop now. I had some other things I was going to say, but I think I've hit the major points.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Some Recent Thoughts
I'll just start typing, since that seems to be the best tactic. Get all those lovely thoughts out in one stream of consciousness.
Tuesday night, I got a call from Oz and then quite soon afterward from Turck. A possible poker game quickly turned into a meet-up at Miley's in Jamestown. I was late, since it only occurred to me at the last minute to take enough stuff home so that I wouldn't have to return to Fredonia before Sunday.
We had a decent time at Miley's, eventually traversing to the College Inn, where I had been maybe twice previously. It was somewhat dead, although we did get to witness a domestic dispute before the principles made up and made out. Oz got semi-plastered, but was unimpaired as far as darts were concerned.
It was nice to see Alex; I hadn't had the privilege of hanging out with him in quite some time. The night was marred a bit when Oz and his 'other half' got into a tiny altercation (read as: tremendous blowup) over the phone. I'm sorry that he finds himself in such an inconsistently harmonious relationship. Though we were laughing at the brash things he was saying and likely making the situation worse as a result, it was pretty painful to watch. I have a tendency to occasionally draw parallels between his situation and one that I was involved in, but this is probably a mistake. I'm fairly convinced now that the two situations are not that close. Obviously he needs to do the thing that will make him happiest, but I'm fairly confident that he is having a lot of trouble figuring out just what that might be. Although a wise man once wrote that "there are two paths you can go by" and "there's always time to change the road you're on," it seems like Oz has doubled back on the same road quite a few times now and he's not really getting closer to his destination.
Apparently Randy's dad recently expressed surprise or chagrin that Matt and I are still single. Randy relayed it as, "those two still don't have girlfriends!?" Yep, that's right. I haven't really attempted anything on that front in a while. I'm weakened considerably by my standard approach of not really approaching at all - that is, waiting for females to either come on to me or to make things so obvious that I'm metaphorically smacked in the face with their intentions. There have been exceptions to this general rule. Not shockingly, they've arisen when I've had alcohol and I'm feeling just a bit braver. Aside from an extremely brief success in March 2004 that lasted about two days after making out in front of the Hotel Ellington (classy, I know...), I have not had much luck. I guess she was expecting more than I had to offer.
I think I've already discussed my frequent inability to distinguish between legitimate prolonged eye contact and simply returning my stare. Maybe I should rely on the fluttering of eyelashes or something. I don't know. I'm very bad at "playing the game," as I've said many times. This is mostly because I dislike the fact that it is so much of a game. I am almost always very blunt, open, straightforward, et cetera about my attractions and my intentions. I guess it disturbs me that so few others are. I think this is one more thing that I could claim as a product of the Destini experience. We had a few weeks of catching each other's glances and then she just made her move. I'm "ruined" by that in a sense; I expect every subsequent relationship to progress similarly and when it doesn't, then I dismiss it.
However, even when I am approached in a similar manner, it doesn't always work out. I've avoided talking about the Chelsea thing because there is significant evidence to suggest she still reads this on occasion, but I guess that matters little now. When she started work, I was pretty flirtatious, but I didn't really expect anything to develop. Age was a primary concern, but there were numerous other warning signs that we had fairly little in common beyond a willingness to make innuendoes to each other. When I found out how old her boyfriend was, I was a little blown away, but it quickly fit into a remarkably easy-to-construct psychological profile of a girl whose paternal role model failed her somewhat, or was at least out of the picture a lot. She turned to a much older guy instead.
My mother's situation is pretty similar. The affair she had when I was around 8 or 9 was only a precursor to the one she had when I was 17, and if I've picked up on my father's hints well enough, he has his suspicions about the time immediately preceding their marriage (the first one). My father's transgressions when I was 16/17 with Sandy were - I am convinced - purely a product of what my mother had done. You would have to know my father pretty well in order to know what I'm talking about, but take my word for it that he's not the type of guy to do something like that unless the line had already been crossed.
By the way - all this psychoanalysis is not something that I kept from Chelsea - I covered this with her well before we went out. She had claimed that neither she nor Jordan knew how old the other was at the outset, but this is either a lie or just incredibly naive - I'm not sure which. I showed her something on my blog at work. I’ll admit this was a tactical maneuver – designed to let her see more of my thoughts than she was likely to be exposed to in a work environment or in casual conversation. I showed her one innocuous post and then she read others on her own, which showed that she at least had some interest in me as a person. I figured that her reaction to what she read would tell me a lot about our possible compatibility. She seemed pretty interested and later left an anonymous comment that was a little too obviously from her that was complimentary about my appearance. I confirmed that she was no longer seeing Jordan (something that turned out to be just a little short of what one might refer to as the TRUTH), and asked her to go to a movie with me that night after work. And it kind of took off from there, about a month before it crashed, burned, and died. Now I have my theories about how the whole thing developed. I think her interest in me was a fairly direct result of the fact that I was the only guy close to her age in the department. The circumstances of us working alone for a few days had to help. The more you’re exposed to a person, the more likely you are to experience a growing intensity of any feelings you might have had initially. In other words, the more I worked with that jackass with the coke habit this summer, the less I could stand him. I think I could have fairly good luck with a lot of girls that I’ve liked if I had been able to spend more time with them in a working environment or hanging out in small groups. Being in class or seeing them in passing on campus doesn’t quite do it. I think it also helped that I’m pretty confident of my abilities at work. I know what I’m doing and there’s little secret that I do fairly well at it. That attitude is regrettably in pretty stark contrast to how I behave generally in LIFE. Life is not really something I’m very good at, so I don’t walk around like I know what I’m doing most of the time. And when I do, it’s usually briefly and it takes little to deflate me/shoot me down.
The Big Lebowski quote -
The Dude: “Fragile, man – he’s very fragile.”
Walter: “I did not know that.”
Yeah – so I think that has a lot to do with it. I had lingering doubts about the viability of the relationship, pretty much from its inception. However, I was encouraged by a few people to look at things from a different perspective. Just because we don’t have everything in common, they said, doesn’t necessarily mean it shouldn’t be given a chance. They reasoned that I certainly wouldn’t want someone who was exactly like me. Indeed. What a frightening thought.
So I stuck with it. I don’t know how soon it started to decline. The fact that she stayed in touch with Jordan, courtesy of his constant phone calls – certainly didn’t help matters. She changed cell phones, but the new number was passed along to him somehow, intentionally or unintentionally I’m not exactly sure. She kept telling me that I was “amazing” in the meantime, obviously something no one really minds hearing a lot. An excellent moment occurred when we were “actively engaged” on her living room floor and Jordan called her phone, which was quite close to our location. She was breathing heavy and I told her to go ahead and answer it, hoping he would ask her what she was doing. I took a certain sadistic pleasure in that, but now of course I’m not so sure that I never called while she was doing the same thing with him. Disturbing. Lack of trust is a horrible thing.
The night of August 16th into the 17th (the night after my birthday into the morning of hers) may have been the most fun we had together. It just happened to also be the end. We went out for trivia night with Turck, Lindsay, Abe, and Matt and afterward went to the Saloon where multiple drinks were bought for me. Chelsea drove me all the way back to Fredonia to my apartment, where we probably spent the best night of our time together, although there were a few that might be close seconds.
By that night, she had met up with Jordan at his parents’ house, had a fight with him, lied to me about how things transpired, and within a couple days she invited him to accompany her to get her tattoo. (Matt refers to a tattoo in the lower back as the “Whore Patch.” I normally call it – somewhat less crudely – as the Sorority Spot. Another popular name is the Tramp Stamp. Take your pick, I guess.) Of course, she had told me at various points in the past that she had decided not to get one, and then that if she did, it would be "someplace where only you can see" (I pointed out that the guy who actually gave her the tattoo would also have to see it, but apparently that didn't count), and that it definitely wouldn't be on her lower back, which I explained could send a far different message than she may want to be sending to guys.
I never understood that placement anyway. It's not like the person with the tat on their lower back can sit and admire it. Is it supposed to provide entertainment to the guy who is screwing the girl from behind? Are they that bored? I don't understand it. It's not sensual or sexy to me, but it is slutty.
It's pretty demoralizing to be rejected in favor of someone with so few prospects. A former used car salesman who told her he lost his job because he couldn't concentrate after they broke up. A guy who had - she said - choked and punched her, in addition to cheating on her multiple times over the course of a little more than a year. A guy who repeatedly threatened me over the phone, letting me know that he was going to kick my ass if I didn't stay away from his girl (the one he had cheated on, choked, and smacked around). He must be bringing more to the proverbial table. Good for him. I'm sure they'll be very happy together.
She recently called work and asked me if I was upset that she had left (she transferred to Erie, near her college) without saying goodbye. I told her we all do what we have to do. She expressed surprise that I hadn't called. I laughed aloud, reminding her that the last time I saw her, she had been walking out of the department with Mr. Right tagging along behind, glaring at me all the way (but not kicking my ass, amazingly enough). I don't know - maybe she thought we could all hang out sometime.
Long story short - it didn't work. There are quite a few reasons. Chelsea blames her lack of truthfulness on my declaration that I didn't think the relationship was going to last if we couldn't talk to each other about meaningful things, which she evidently took to mean that it just wasn't going to last at all. Apparently this realization made lies and deceit acceptable, although I have my suspicions (aided by the fact that I can't really trust anything she says to be factual at this point) that the lies and deceit were there from the beginning.
Would the whole thing have developed if not for the fact that I hadn't had any female contact for more than eight months beforehand? Well, if I'm honest with myself, probably not. That fact combined with her willingness as a very attractive girl to "come after me" in a way - just too much for someone with such a shortage of self-control.
All right. There's always more to say, but I think I'll leave it there for the time being.
Tuesday night, I got a call from Oz and then quite soon afterward from Turck. A possible poker game quickly turned into a meet-up at Miley's in Jamestown. I was late, since it only occurred to me at the last minute to take enough stuff home so that I wouldn't have to return to Fredonia before Sunday.
We had a decent time at Miley's, eventually traversing to the College Inn, where I had been maybe twice previously. It was somewhat dead, although we did get to witness a domestic dispute before the principles made up and made out. Oz got semi-plastered, but was unimpaired as far as darts were concerned.
It was nice to see Alex; I hadn't had the privilege of hanging out with him in quite some time. The night was marred a bit when Oz and his 'other half' got into a tiny altercation (read as: tremendous blowup) over the phone. I'm sorry that he finds himself in such an inconsistently harmonious relationship. Though we were laughing at the brash things he was saying and likely making the situation worse as a result, it was pretty painful to watch. I have a tendency to occasionally draw parallels between his situation and one that I was involved in, but this is probably a mistake. I'm fairly convinced now that the two situations are not that close. Obviously he needs to do the thing that will make him happiest, but I'm fairly confident that he is having a lot of trouble figuring out just what that might be. Although a wise man once wrote that "there are two paths you can go by" and "there's always time to change the road you're on," it seems like Oz has doubled back on the same road quite a few times now and he's not really getting closer to his destination.
Apparently Randy's dad recently expressed surprise or chagrin that Matt and I are still single. Randy relayed it as, "those two still don't have girlfriends!?" Yep, that's right. I haven't really attempted anything on that front in a while. I'm weakened considerably by my standard approach of not really approaching at all - that is, waiting for females to either come on to me or to make things so obvious that I'm metaphorically smacked in the face with their intentions. There have been exceptions to this general rule. Not shockingly, they've arisen when I've had alcohol and I'm feeling just a bit braver. Aside from an extremely brief success in March 2004 that lasted about two days after making out in front of the Hotel Ellington (classy, I know...), I have not had much luck. I guess she was expecting more than I had to offer.
I think I've already discussed my frequent inability to distinguish between legitimate prolonged eye contact and simply returning my stare. Maybe I should rely on the fluttering of eyelashes or something. I don't know. I'm very bad at "playing the game," as I've said many times. This is mostly because I dislike the fact that it is so much of a game. I am almost always very blunt, open, straightforward, et cetera about my attractions and my intentions. I guess it disturbs me that so few others are. I think this is one more thing that I could claim as a product of the Destini experience. We had a few weeks of catching each other's glances and then she just made her move. I'm "ruined" by that in a sense; I expect every subsequent relationship to progress similarly and when it doesn't, then I dismiss it.
However, even when I am approached in a similar manner, it doesn't always work out. I've avoided talking about the Chelsea thing because there is significant evidence to suggest she still reads this on occasion, but I guess that matters little now. When she started work, I was pretty flirtatious, but I didn't really expect anything to develop. Age was a primary concern, but there were numerous other warning signs that we had fairly little in common beyond a willingness to make innuendoes to each other. When I found out how old her boyfriend was, I was a little blown away, but it quickly fit into a remarkably easy-to-construct psychological profile of a girl whose paternal role model failed her somewhat, or was at least out of the picture a lot. She turned to a much older guy instead.
My mother's situation is pretty similar. The affair she had when I was around 8 or 9 was only a precursor to the one she had when I was 17, and if I've picked up on my father's hints well enough, he has his suspicions about the time immediately preceding their marriage (the first one). My father's transgressions when I was 16/17 with Sandy were - I am convinced - purely a product of what my mother had done. You would have to know my father pretty well in order to know what I'm talking about, but take my word for it that he's not the type of guy to do something like that unless the line had already been crossed.
By the way - all this psychoanalysis is not something that I kept from Chelsea - I covered this with her well before we went out. She had claimed that neither she nor Jordan knew how old the other was at the outset, but this is either a lie or just incredibly naive - I'm not sure which. I showed her something on my blog at work. I’ll admit this was a tactical maneuver – designed to let her see more of my thoughts than she was likely to be exposed to in a work environment or in casual conversation. I showed her one innocuous post and then she read others on her own, which showed that she at least had some interest in me as a person. I figured that her reaction to what she read would tell me a lot about our possible compatibility. She seemed pretty interested and later left an anonymous comment that was a little too obviously from her that was complimentary about my appearance. I confirmed that she was no longer seeing Jordan (something that turned out to be just a little short of what one might refer to as the TRUTH), and asked her to go to a movie with me that night after work. And it kind of took off from there, about a month before it crashed, burned, and died. Now I have my theories about how the whole thing developed. I think her interest in me was a fairly direct result of the fact that I was the only guy close to her age in the department. The circumstances of us working alone for a few days had to help. The more you’re exposed to a person, the more likely you are to experience a growing intensity of any feelings you might have had initially. In other words, the more I worked with that jackass with the coke habit this summer, the less I could stand him. I think I could have fairly good luck with a lot of girls that I’ve liked if I had been able to spend more time with them in a working environment or hanging out in small groups. Being in class or seeing them in passing on campus doesn’t quite do it. I think it also helped that I’m pretty confident of my abilities at work. I know what I’m doing and there’s little secret that I do fairly well at it. That attitude is regrettably in pretty stark contrast to how I behave generally in LIFE. Life is not really something I’m very good at, so I don’t walk around like I know what I’m doing most of the time. And when I do, it’s usually briefly and it takes little to deflate me/shoot me down.
The Big Lebowski quote -
The Dude: “Fragile, man – he’s very fragile.”
Walter: “I did not know that.”
Yeah – so I think that has a lot to do with it. I had lingering doubts about the viability of the relationship, pretty much from its inception. However, I was encouraged by a few people to look at things from a different perspective. Just because we don’t have everything in common, they said, doesn’t necessarily mean it shouldn’t be given a chance. They reasoned that I certainly wouldn’t want someone who was exactly like me. Indeed. What a frightening thought.
So I stuck with it. I don’t know how soon it started to decline. The fact that she stayed in touch with Jordan, courtesy of his constant phone calls – certainly didn’t help matters. She changed cell phones, but the new number was passed along to him somehow, intentionally or unintentionally I’m not exactly sure. She kept telling me that I was “amazing” in the meantime, obviously something no one really minds hearing a lot. An excellent moment occurred when we were “actively engaged” on her living room floor and Jordan called her phone, which was quite close to our location. She was breathing heavy and I told her to go ahead and answer it, hoping he would ask her what she was doing. I took a certain sadistic pleasure in that, but now of course I’m not so sure that I never called while she was doing the same thing with him. Disturbing. Lack of trust is a horrible thing.
The night of August 16th into the 17th (the night after my birthday into the morning of hers) may have been the most fun we had together. It just happened to also be the end. We went out for trivia night with Turck, Lindsay, Abe, and Matt and afterward went to the Saloon where multiple drinks were bought for me. Chelsea drove me all the way back to Fredonia to my apartment, where we probably spent the best night of our time together, although there were a few that might be close seconds.
By that night, she had met up with Jordan at his parents’ house, had a fight with him, lied to me about how things transpired, and within a couple days she invited him to accompany her to get her tattoo. (Matt refers to a tattoo in the lower back as the “Whore Patch.” I normally call it – somewhat less crudely – as the Sorority Spot. Another popular name is the Tramp Stamp. Take your pick, I guess.) Of course, she had told me at various points in the past that she had decided not to get one, and then that if she did, it would be "someplace where only you can see" (I pointed out that the guy who actually gave her the tattoo would also have to see it, but apparently that didn't count), and that it definitely wouldn't be on her lower back, which I explained could send a far different message than she may want to be sending to guys.
I never understood that placement anyway. It's not like the person with the tat on their lower back can sit and admire it. Is it supposed to provide entertainment to the guy who is screwing the girl from behind? Are they that bored? I don't understand it. It's not sensual or sexy to me, but it is slutty.
It's pretty demoralizing to be rejected in favor of someone with so few prospects. A former used car salesman who told her he lost his job because he couldn't concentrate after they broke up. A guy who had - she said - choked and punched her, in addition to cheating on her multiple times over the course of a little more than a year. A guy who repeatedly threatened me over the phone, letting me know that he was going to kick my ass if I didn't stay away from his girl (the one he had cheated on, choked, and smacked around). He must be bringing more to the proverbial table. Good for him. I'm sure they'll be very happy together.
She recently called work and asked me if I was upset that she had left (she transferred to Erie, near her college) without saying goodbye. I told her we all do what we have to do. She expressed surprise that I hadn't called. I laughed aloud, reminding her that the last time I saw her, she had been walking out of the department with Mr. Right tagging along behind, glaring at me all the way (but not kicking my ass, amazingly enough). I don't know - maybe she thought we could all hang out sometime.
Long story short - it didn't work. There are quite a few reasons. Chelsea blames her lack of truthfulness on my declaration that I didn't think the relationship was going to last if we couldn't talk to each other about meaningful things, which she evidently took to mean that it just wasn't going to last at all. Apparently this realization made lies and deceit acceptable, although I have my suspicions (aided by the fact that I can't really trust anything she says to be factual at this point) that the lies and deceit were there from the beginning.
Would the whole thing have developed if not for the fact that I hadn't had any female contact for more than eight months beforehand? Well, if I'm honest with myself, probably not. That fact combined with her willingness as a very attractive girl to "come after me" in a way - just too much for someone with such a shortage of self-control.
All right. There's always more to say, but I think I'll leave it there for the time being.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Springsteen Denied
This lovely letter to Senator Frist, from Jesus' General, refers to this little piece of news.
JG is a very amusing left-wing site.
JG is a very amusing left-wing site.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Robert Plant - Construction Worker
Mr. Plant, sporting a lovely neon-green and white reflective vest while behind the controls of a mechanical trench-digging contraption.
Must be seen to be believed.
Full Article and mini-interview:
http://archive.thisisworcestershire.co.uk/2005/11/10/385790.html
Must be seen to be believed.
Full Article and mini-interview:
http://archive.thisisworcestershire.co.uk/2005/11/10/385790.html
John Cusack
I've been a huge Cusack fan since seeing those great 80s movies like Better Off Dead and Say Anything... and of course more recent classics like High Fidelity. Turns out that besides being an excellent actor, he's a pretty informed citizen. This article is something he wrote for the Huffington Post. He talks about Jon Stewart, John McCain, Hunter S. Thompson, and quite a bit about what we shoudln't be putting up with.
Here's an excerpt:
"Yes, there is a difference between the McCain/Hagel Repubs and the neo-con/White House Iraq Group lunatics. But it's also good to remember: no matter what he does from here on out, McCain stood by the president, a man (and his machine) who smeared him viciously on the 2000 campaign trail, and then, at the GOP convention four years later, campaigned for him when we were well on to this disastrous course. And thinking men -- of which McCain is surely one -- knew the neo-cons were exploiting 9/11 for their hideous misadventure in Iraq, and knew this was an administration that would not allow photos of the dead. Etc. etc. etc. Every man who stood by Bush should be forced to answer for it."
Here's an excerpt:
"Yes, there is a difference between the McCain/Hagel Repubs and the neo-con/White House Iraq Group lunatics. But it's also good to remember: no matter what he does from here on out, McCain stood by the president, a man (and his machine) who smeared him viciously on the 2000 campaign trail, and then, at the GOP convention four years later, campaigned for him when we were well on to this disastrous course. And thinking men -- of which McCain is surely one -- knew the neo-cons were exploiting 9/11 for their hideous misadventure in Iraq, and knew this was an administration that would not allow photos of the dead. Etc. etc. etc. Every man who stood by Bush should be forced to answer for it."
Monday, November 14, 2005
Making The Rounds
So - what's going on?
The Vice-President is asking for an exemption for the CIA from any legislation on torture.
Former Vietnam POW and current Republican Senator John McCain sponsored an anti-torture amendment that passed in the Senate by a vote of 90-9 that grants no exemptions to anyone. This amendment has been vigorously opposed by Cheney, who has personally lobbied senators to vote against it. McCain has not been deterred, vowing to add the amendment to every piece of significant legislation that passes through the Senate.
When asked to clarify what the VP is actually asking for, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan repeatedly refused to give any coherent answer to the question. Instead, he focused on telling reporters pressing the issue that they were obviously out of step with the American people. The American people understand, apparently, that we are talking about dangerous killers who need to be tortured. McClellan sought to shift the discussion from what the CIA exemption means to talking about specific examples of alleged terrorists. McCain had a great rebuttal to this when asked for comment, asserting that this issue is not about who they are, but rather about who we are - and who we want to be. I'm paraphrasing there, not quoting.
A recent leak about CIA-run secret prisons in Eastern Europe (where who knows what is going on) led Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to assert that he was more concerned with the leak of the information than the fact that there were actually secret prisons in operation. The prisons, or so-called 'black sites,' are being run in Eastern European nations, at least some of which are democracies.
Okay - this one's just funny.
A recent poll found that 65% of Americans now oppose the war in Iraq. However, 34% believe that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church every Sunday. 1% believe dinosaurs are merely a fabrication of Satan's to test their faith in the Almighty.
---I heard that one from a guy at Dem HQ.
The New Jersey Republican candidate for governor blames Bush's sinking approval rating for his loss.
You should also read this.
The FDA likely focused on politics, not science, in rejecting the OTC sale of Plan B - the 'morning-after pill.'
Alright. I must be going...as the College Dems' VP, I have to attend an "executive board meeting" every Monday at 6pm.
The Vice-President is asking for an exemption for the CIA from any legislation on torture.
Former Vietnam POW and current Republican Senator John McCain sponsored an anti-torture amendment that passed in the Senate by a vote of 90-9 that grants no exemptions to anyone. This amendment has been vigorously opposed by Cheney, who has personally lobbied senators to vote against it. McCain has not been deterred, vowing to add the amendment to every piece of significant legislation that passes through the Senate.
When asked to clarify what the VP is actually asking for, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan repeatedly refused to give any coherent answer to the question. Instead, he focused on telling reporters pressing the issue that they were obviously out of step with the American people. The American people understand, apparently, that we are talking about dangerous killers who need to be tortured. McClellan sought to shift the discussion from what the CIA exemption means to talking about specific examples of alleged terrorists. McCain had a great rebuttal to this when asked for comment, asserting that this issue is not about who they are, but rather about who we are - and who we want to be. I'm paraphrasing there, not quoting.
A recent leak about CIA-run secret prisons in Eastern Europe (where who knows what is going on) led Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to assert that he was more concerned with the leak of the information than the fact that there were actually secret prisons in operation. The prisons, or so-called 'black sites,' are being run in Eastern European nations, at least some of which are democracies.
Okay - this one's just funny.
A recent poll found that 65% of Americans now oppose the war in Iraq. However, 34% believe that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church every Sunday. 1% believe dinosaurs are merely a fabrication of Satan's to test their faith in the Almighty.
---I heard that one from a guy at Dem HQ.
The New Jersey Republican candidate for governor blames Bush's sinking approval rating for his loss.
You should also read this.
The FDA likely focused on politics, not science, in rejecting the OTC sale of Plan B - the 'morning-after pill.'
Alright. I must be going...as the College Dems' VP, I have to attend an "executive board meeting" every Monday at 6pm.
Take the Money and Run
I received my letter of acceptance into the SUNY Washington Semester program on Saturday when I checked the mail on my way out the door and only the way to another wonderful day at Sears. Looks like I probably will try to take out another loan, otherwise things are going to get pretty rough. No details as of yet on what the internship will actually be - Fitzpatrick made it clear that once the acceptance is given, he will start working on the best fit for what each individual is looking for.
Some of the paperwork is supposedly due on Tuesday, which should be interesting. The reservation for the Alexandria apartments is what I'm talking about specifically.
Last Thursday, I took Matt to rendezvous with his supposedly repaired automobile, which had died while in the US Customs booth on the previous Saturday and had to be pushed back into the United States. We got to Buffalo and the Goodyear shop where he was informed that the timing belt had been replaced..."but I don't know how far you have to go, but you ain't got no brakes." This was news to Matt, who was under the impression that while his brakes may have needed some work, that they were indeed still very functional when he had been towed in to the shop.
After Matt calmly questioned the highly-qualified repair specialist - who went by the name of Jacz and looked like an extra from the Samuel L. Jackson flic 187 - and miraculously retained his composure after hearing approximately three to five separate explanations why his brakes no longer worked, we held a conference in my car to get out of the cold and away from the prying eyes of the other repair specialist gathered with their faces pressed against the shop's windows. In the car, we concluded that in all likelihood, he was being fucked over.
In desperation, we walked across the street to Sammy's Auto Center, which is the place of business that had provided the initial tow but had been closed on Saturday. We spoke to the proprietor, who informed us that he was not particularly surprised at our lack of confidence in the adjacent repair shop. While admitting that the explanations given for the brake failure were indeed possible, he communicated that he shared our impression that none were very probable.
Back to Fredonia and then to Mayville we went, ready for a return trip the following day. On Friday, the purportedly faulty master cylinder was deemed completely functional and intact. Instead, the likely cause of the loss of pressure in the brakes was instead the Goodyear shop's failure to bleed the lines when one was changed. While unable to establish demonstrable malfeasance on the part of the repair specialists (not even Jacz), we are fairly convinced that their intention was to keep the well-worn Honda Civic there long enough to bleed Matthew's wallet more effectively than they had bled the brake fluid in the lines.
The story would likely be better in person, as told by Matt, but since he hasn't updated his blog since July, I figured I'd do the abbreviated honors.
The library's closing, so I'll end there for now. I have two papers due by the end of the week, so that should be fun.
Some of the paperwork is supposedly due on Tuesday, which should be interesting. The reservation for the Alexandria apartments is what I'm talking about specifically.
Last Thursday, I took Matt to rendezvous with his supposedly repaired automobile, which had died while in the US Customs booth on the previous Saturday and had to be pushed back into the United States. We got to Buffalo and the Goodyear shop where he was informed that the timing belt had been replaced..."but I don't know how far you have to go, but you ain't got no brakes." This was news to Matt, who was under the impression that while his brakes may have needed some work, that they were indeed still very functional when he had been towed in to the shop.
After Matt calmly questioned the highly-qualified repair specialist - who went by the name of Jacz and looked like an extra from the Samuel L. Jackson flic 187 - and miraculously retained his composure after hearing approximately three to five separate explanations why his brakes no longer worked, we held a conference in my car to get out of the cold and away from the prying eyes of the other repair specialist gathered with their faces pressed against the shop's windows. In the car, we concluded that in all likelihood, he was being fucked over.
In desperation, we walked across the street to Sammy's Auto Center, which is the place of business that had provided the initial tow but had been closed on Saturday. We spoke to the proprietor, who informed us that he was not particularly surprised at our lack of confidence in the adjacent repair shop. While admitting that the explanations given for the brake failure were indeed possible, he communicated that he shared our impression that none were very probable.
Back to Fredonia and then to Mayville we went, ready for a return trip the following day. On Friday, the purportedly faulty master cylinder was deemed completely functional and intact. Instead, the likely cause of the loss of pressure in the brakes was instead the Goodyear shop's failure to bleed the lines when one was changed. While unable to establish demonstrable malfeasance on the part of the repair specialists (not even Jacz), we are fairly convinced that their intention was to keep the well-worn Honda Civic there long enough to bleed Matthew's wallet more effectively than they had bled the brake fluid in the lines.
The story would likely be better in person, as told by Matt, but since he hasn't updated his blog since July, I figured I'd do the abbreviated honors.
The library's closing, so I'll end there for now. I have two papers due by the end of the week, so that should be fun.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
THE FUTURE...or something like that
I met today with John Fitzpatrick, the director of the SUNY Washington Semester program. That kind of makes it sound like it was a one-on-one thing, which it was not. He came to Rankin's class today and I spoke with him briefly about what I wanted to do and when, he gave his presentation, left, Rankin lectured for the rest of the class, said Fitzpatrick would be meeting with interested students in the PoliSci Reading Room at 2pm. I was there at the appointed time, which meant that I was unfortunately not in my Contemporary Novel class with the beloved Dr. Stinson.
There were four others that came to the meeting, where he went over some of the relevant details of the program. He feels that a House internship would be more valuable and perhaps more rewarding than a Senate internship, apparently because there is more diversity in the daily tasks that you may be expected to take on. The internship in any case would be four days full time and then a class generally on each Friday, with some exceptions. Housing would be in suburban Alexandria, Virginia, from whence I would take a train each day into DC for approximately 30 minutes. The apartment complex would be roughly the same as SUNY Brockport dorm costs, which is to say ~$2250, and that would cover rent, utilities, et cetera. He estimated food costs to be about $75-100/week. Tuition works out to be Fredonia's cost plus almost 800 bucks as a fee to the program itself.
There's a possibility of getting out of library/tech fees at Fredonia, since I'll be gone. I may receive more financial aid or I may not. I'm not sure if it's a good idea for me to take out yet another loan. I'll be receiving a little over $4800 in aid already scheduled, plus I think about 1500 through Pell. I'm already about 18K in debt as it is. I probably will not be looking for work down there, since I anticipate being too busy.
There's a 20-page paper to be written, and an hour-long presentation to be given, as well as a 10-page general response to the experience. Fitzpatrick made sure to assert that the interns do "real work" that does not consist merely of using the Xerox or the Mr. Coffee machines. He cited several examples and also made sure to mention that some SUNY students seem to have some doubts as to whether or not they can really compete with the networking and placement of Ivy League students (huh...I wonder where they would get the idea that those people have some advantage...?). He claims that there is sigificant demand among many agencies specifically for SUNY interns through the program based on the performance of past program alumni. I guess I'll believe that when I see it.
He has not seen my application as of yet, so there is still no firm progress on whether I'll actually be down there or not. He did say something to the effect that the chances are far higher of landing in the Higgins office (27th District, NYS) than of Clinton's or Schumer's, which is pretty much what I expected.
Other than all that...
I had two broomball games, one Monday night at midnight and one Tuesday night at 1:15. Our team was victorious in both contests, both by shutouts. Monday's game was a little physical. A few kids were somewhat belligerent. One in particular was having trouble maintaining his footing near our bench late in the game. I placed a hand on his hip and gave him just a slight turn and he went down rather more quickly than he might have otherwise. I felt a twinge of remorse, but not too much, since he had been a dick earlier.
Next week, we have two games.
Election night was a bust, at least locally. The Dems lost all three county-wide races. This seems simply to prove that Chautauqua County is a backwoods conservative bastion in a state known nationally as a Democratic stronghold (although this is obviously due to NYC and the like).
New Jersey and Virginia elected Democratic governors (the major races), so that was good.
Alright. The library is closing. Bye for now.
There were four others that came to the meeting, where he went over some of the relevant details of the program. He feels that a House internship would be more valuable and perhaps more rewarding than a Senate internship, apparently because there is more diversity in the daily tasks that you may be expected to take on. The internship in any case would be four days full time and then a class generally on each Friday, with some exceptions. Housing would be in suburban Alexandria, Virginia, from whence I would take a train each day into DC for approximately 30 minutes. The apartment complex would be roughly the same as SUNY Brockport dorm costs, which is to say ~$2250, and that would cover rent, utilities, et cetera. He estimated food costs to be about $75-100/week. Tuition works out to be Fredonia's cost plus almost 800 bucks as a fee to the program itself.
There's a possibility of getting out of library/tech fees at Fredonia, since I'll be gone. I may receive more financial aid or I may not. I'm not sure if it's a good idea for me to take out yet another loan. I'll be receiving a little over $4800 in aid already scheduled, plus I think about 1500 through Pell. I'm already about 18K in debt as it is. I probably will not be looking for work down there, since I anticipate being too busy.
There's a 20-page paper to be written, and an hour-long presentation to be given, as well as a 10-page general response to the experience. Fitzpatrick made sure to assert that the interns do "real work" that does not consist merely of using the Xerox or the Mr. Coffee machines. He cited several examples and also made sure to mention that some SUNY students seem to have some doubts as to whether or not they can really compete with the networking and placement of Ivy League students (huh...I wonder where they would get the idea that those people have some advantage...?). He claims that there is sigificant demand among many agencies specifically for SUNY interns through the program based on the performance of past program alumni. I guess I'll believe that when I see it.
He has not seen my application as of yet, so there is still no firm progress on whether I'll actually be down there or not. He did say something to the effect that the chances are far higher of landing in the Higgins office (27th District, NYS) than of Clinton's or Schumer's, which is pretty much what I expected.
Other than all that...
I had two broomball games, one Monday night at midnight and one Tuesday night at 1:15. Our team was victorious in both contests, both by shutouts. Monday's game was a little physical. A few kids were somewhat belligerent. One in particular was having trouble maintaining his footing near our bench late in the game. I placed a hand on his hip and gave him just a slight turn and he went down rather more quickly than he might have otherwise. I felt a twinge of remorse, but not too much, since he had been a dick earlier.
Next week, we have two games.
Election night was a bust, at least locally. The Dems lost all three county-wide races. This seems simply to prove that Chautauqua County is a backwoods conservative bastion in a state known nationally as a Democratic stronghold (although this is obviously due to NYC and the like).
New Jersey and Virginia elected Democratic governors (the major races), so that was good.
Alright. The library is closing. Bye for now.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
And The Moral of the Story, Kids...
My good ol' pal Stephanie Lerner likes to make fun of me in the presence of very attractive women. I'm wearing my red Pearl Jam "Patriot" Vote For Change shirt, and she said, "I like it when your face matches your shirt." The lovely girl with long, dark hair on my left turned, looked, and turned back to her computer. A few minutes later, she left. I've never seen her before. I will likely not see her again. Really nice. Thanks, Steph.
Anyway...
Yesterday, the College Democrats (or three of us, anyway) went to US Senator Charles Schumer's Buffalo office. We were met by a Staff Assistant named Liz, who was quite candid about the inner workings of the office and her job. There are only two 'real' (paid) employees there, it seems. Liz, and the regional director. The rest of the staff is 2-5 interns. Schumer has eight offices across New York State, but this is actually by choice. Apparently senators are allotted a certain amount of square footage for office space in their state. He could have chosen to have fewer, larger offices. Instead, he opted for more, smaller offices. Anyway, it seems like they have quite an operation going there, and they're obviously doing a pretty good job, since Chuck seems to be getting a lot of press (and a lot of positive press locally, even in conservative areas like Fredonia and Jamestown).
I haven't updated in a while. I had a presentation in my Political Science class on Wednesday that went fairly well. It was actually only the second time that I've used PowerPoint for anything. My presentation (and my accompanying survey project/paper) focused on the impact of political talk radio on the attitudes, political leanings, and voting behavior of listeners. Initially, I thought that there would be a substantial impact from the years and years of senseless vitriol that Rush Limbaugh and his ilk were spewing out since the increase in talk radio popularity in the 1990s. However, it appears that for the most part, the fat bastard was preaching to the previously converted and thus had very little effect. The fact that my face didn't turn bright red and I didn't stammer uncontrollably probably has something to do with the lights being down for the PowerPoint presentation and that only about 12 people decided to show up for class that day. Whatever the reason, I was pretty satisfied with how it went.
Last Friday was a lot of fun. Randy and I came back to my apartment for a while and listened to Robert Plant's final performance with the Priory of Brion (12/21/2000), which was in Wolverhampton. It features renditions of 'Hey Joe' and also 'If 6 Was 9' leading into 'Thank You,' which was the only song written by Zeppelin ever to be played in its entirety by the Priory. Turck came down from Buffalo, and we went back to the college to get Laura. We came back to the apartment and watched some of John Paul Jones at the Showbox in Seattle from October 25, 1999 - a show that took place six days after Aaron and I had seen him in Cleveland at the Odeon. Turck's friend Brian showed up, and Matt eventually came as well before we headed to Applebee's (but not before Turck fell down the stairs into Matt). Turck must have had about four beers from 5pm to a little after 7, and he never quite recovered the rest of the night. Brian bought him a nice big Brewtus to open the festivities, and Matt went with a glass of coffee. Yeah, that's right. I had a couple Coronas, the second of which happened to spritz Turck in the face after the drop of the lime.
After a good meal, Randy and Laura took off and the rest of us went back to the apartment went back for reinforcements before heading to Steph's apartment for a Halloween party with a lot of what turned out to be Matt's sister Jen's friends. I was the same pirate from last year, Matt was me (he wore my Zeppelin hoodie and snowcap), and Turck donned his white pharmacist coat and grabbed a clipboard.
Thom showed up at Steph's party, although he was not quite in costume. Stephanie was dynamite at beer pong until I got on her team, which is when she started to suck badly. I was quite good for a change, but not good enough to carry the team to a win without help more than once or twice.
At the party, we encountered Thing 1 and Thing 2 from Dr. Seuss fame, as well as Peter Griffin from Family Guy, who turned out to be kind of a jerkoff. Quail Boy was also there, although I'm not really familiar with his origins. He was played by Jeff. Matt D and Kristen O were also there, dressed as Stephanie and 'Post-Modernism' if I remember correctly.
Eventually, we grew tired of losing at beer pong (although Jeff and Turck combined for a victory before we left) and ventured back to the apartment to shed some of the more awkward accoutrements of our costumes (I left the pirate hat, but kept the bandana, Turck left his lab coat, Matt stopped being me and left the Zep clothing) before going downtown.
We went to Ellicottville Brewing Company (EBC from now on) for a while, but it wasn't that busy and Jeff got some odd looks from some older people for his Quail Boy outfit. I'd like to think that I pull the bandana look off alright even when not in costume, but I'm probably wrong on that count.
We hit Heenan's, where I talked with Amy from Two Brothers' and Quality Markets fame, before she could escape to the bathroom, that is. I'm not sure why I keep trying to talk to her. She was friendly enough, I guess. I asked her about her "sort-of boyfriend" (see this), and she said he was "okay" but didn't seem enthusiastic. I remember explaining that I was wearing the bandana as part of a pirate costume, and attempting to be suave. I was somewhat drunk. Still sober enough to wonder if I should or should not ask her and if that would be a jerky thing to do, but drunk enough to say "screw it" in my head and proceed. While Amy was indisposed, this girl Nicole from one of my classes came over and appeared very happy to see me, but it became fairly obvious that she was hammered, since she not only hugged me but actually talked to me for more than a minute or so before she decided to go to the bathroom as well. I say "obvious" because she rarely will say two words to me in class, and then only if I'm in a conversation with Rob Thompson, who normally sits behind her. I think she's pretty, and I kind of like her somewhat..."no nonsense" if I can use that expression...attitude. Oh well. She has a boyfriend anyway - and I'm pretty sure hers isn't a 'sorta' relationship.
Eventually, we made it to Pizza, Wings, & Things (PWT, as the locals say), and waited a very long time. Apparently Abe was there almost the entire time, but he was in a mask and didn't initiate conversation. We got our pizza and made our way back to my apartment, where Turck promptly passed out on a large pillow that he brought and consequently paid the price. I got a phone call from Abe fairly quickly, and he told us where he had been. He and his friend, whose name now escapes me, came up and joined us in a showing of The Big Lebowski while we devoured our pizza. You'll be able to see the extensive furnishings in my apartment from the photos.
This is a link to the whole photo page. I preferred to show them in sequence as part of the story.
The next morning, Turck woke up with the permanent marker-drawn penis smeared unrecognizably on his forehead, and Thom kept talking to him about how it was a good thing he had cool friends that wouldn't fuck with him when he passed out. Turck nodded groggily along until he happened to go into the bathroom at my recommendation and exclaimed, "what the hell?!" which was pretty damn funny.
Thom and Turck and I watched HBO's Mr. Show DVDs on loan from Matt D while I ironed my work clothes. I ventured off eventually and was approximately 10 minutes late for work (surprise), but since when has that mattered?
I told my parents and grandparents that weekend that I was going to the Czech Republic in January, to a generally positive reaction.
I finally completed my Washington Semester application and turned it in on Tuesday. Dr. Rankin foresaw no problems with my acceptance and said that the coordinator of the program would be in next week. In anticipation of that, I may decide to shave my beard down to the goatee, since I think it looks slighty more professional (and is slightly easier to keep trimmed effectively).
After paying my rent and other bills, I have less than $250 in my account, which is just a bit worrisome with Friday night coming up and no pay day until next week. But I figure I'll make due. The bad part is that I think I'm going to need to do a few things before the end of the year. By 'a few things,' I mean buying comfortable shoes for walking around Prague, enough business attire to get me through working five days per week in DC, and I would really like to have a digital camera for my European venture. In addition, I think I'm going to finally have to bite the proverbial bullet and get a dreaded cell phone for my time in DC and beyond, kind of as a step toward entering the real world - almost. Not sure where all that money's going to come from.
I have a quiz tomorrow but nothing really stress-inducing until next week or so. That's my personal update. I may have some news-related comments tomorrow. I've been busy this week.
Anyway...
Yesterday, the College Democrats (or three of us, anyway) went to US Senator Charles Schumer's Buffalo office. We were met by a Staff Assistant named Liz, who was quite candid about the inner workings of the office and her job. There are only two 'real' (paid) employees there, it seems. Liz, and the regional director. The rest of the staff is 2-5 interns. Schumer has eight offices across New York State, but this is actually by choice. Apparently senators are allotted a certain amount of square footage for office space in their state. He could have chosen to have fewer, larger offices. Instead, he opted for more, smaller offices. Anyway, it seems like they have quite an operation going there, and they're obviously doing a pretty good job, since Chuck seems to be getting a lot of press (and a lot of positive press locally, even in conservative areas like Fredonia and Jamestown).
I haven't updated in a while. I had a presentation in my Political Science class on Wednesday that went fairly well. It was actually only the second time that I've used PowerPoint for anything. My presentation (and my accompanying survey project/paper) focused on the impact of political talk radio on the attitudes, political leanings, and voting behavior of listeners. Initially, I thought that there would be a substantial impact from the years and years of senseless vitriol that Rush Limbaugh and his ilk were spewing out since the increase in talk radio popularity in the 1990s. However, it appears that for the most part, the fat bastard was preaching to the previously converted and thus had very little effect. The fact that my face didn't turn bright red and I didn't stammer uncontrollably probably has something to do with the lights being down for the PowerPoint presentation and that only about 12 people decided to show up for class that day. Whatever the reason, I was pretty satisfied with how it went.
Last Friday was a lot of fun. Randy and I came back to my apartment for a while and listened to Robert Plant's final performance with the Priory of Brion (12/21/2000), which was in Wolverhampton. It features renditions of 'Hey Joe' and also 'If 6 Was 9' leading into 'Thank You,' which was the only song written by Zeppelin ever to be played in its entirety by the Priory. Turck came down from Buffalo, and we went back to the college to get Laura. We came back to the apartment and watched some of John Paul Jones at the Showbox in Seattle from October 25, 1999 - a show that took place six days after Aaron and I had seen him in Cleveland at the Odeon. Turck's friend Brian showed up, and Matt eventually came as well before we headed to Applebee's (but not before Turck fell down the stairs into Matt). Turck must have had about four beers from 5pm to a little after 7, and he never quite recovered the rest of the night. Brian bought him a nice big Brewtus to open the festivities, and Matt went with a glass of coffee. Yeah, that's right. I had a couple Coronas, the second of which happened to spritz Turck in the face after the drop of the lime.
After a good meal, Randy and Laura took off and the rest of us went back to the apartment went back for reinforcements before heading to Steph's apartment for a Halloween party with a lot of what turned out to be Matt's sister Jen's friends. I was the same pirate from last year, Matt was me (he wore my Zeppelin hoodie and snowcap), and Turck donned his white pharmacist coat and grabbed a clipboard.
Thom showed up at Steph's party, although he was not quite in costume. Stephanie was dynamite at beer pong until I got on her team, which is when she started to suck badly. I was quite good for a change, but not good enough to carry the team to a win without help more than once or twice.
At the party, we encountered Thing 1 and Thing 2 from Dr. Seuss fame, as well as Peter Griffin from Family Guy, who turned out to be kind of a jerkoff. Quail Boy was also there, although I'm not really familiar with his origins. He was played by Jeff. Matt D and Kristen O were also there, dressed as Stephanie and 'Post-Modernism' if I remember correctly.
Eventually, we grew tired of losing at beer pong (although Jeff and Turck combined for a victory before we left) and ventured back to the apartment to shed some of the more awkward accoutrements of our costumes (I left the pirate hat, but kept the bandana, Turck left his lab coat, Matt stopped being me and left the Zep clothing) before going downtown.
We went to Ellicottville Brewing Company (EBC from now on) for a while, but it wasn't that busy and Jeff got some odd looks from some older people for his Quail Boy outfit. I'd like to think that I pull the bandana look off alright even when not in costume, but I'm probably wrong on that count.
We hit Heenan's, where I talked with Amy from Two Brothers' and Quality Markets fame, before she could escape to the bathroom, that is. I'm not sure why I keep trying to talk to her. She was friendly enough, I guess. I asked her about her "sort-of boyfriend" (see this), and she said he was "okay" but didn't seem enthusiastic. I remember explaining that I was wearing the bandana as part of a pirate costume, and attempting to be suave. I was somewhat drunk. Still sober enough to wonder if I should or should not ask her and if that would be a jerky thing to do, but drunk enough to say "screw it" in my head and proceed. While Amy was indisposed, this girl Nicole from one of my classes came over and appeared very happy to see me, but it became fairly obvious that she was hammered, since she not only hugged me but actually talked to me for more than a minute or so before she decided to go to the bathroom as well. I say "obvious" because she rarely will say two words to me in class, and then only if I'm in a conversation with Rob Thompson, who normally sits behind her. I think she's pretty, and I kind of like her somewhat..."no nonsense" if I can use that expression...attitude. Oh well. She has a boyfriend anyway - and I'm pretty sure hers isn't a 'sorta' relationship.
Eventually, we made it to Pizza, Wings, & Things (PWT, as the locals say), and waited a very long time. Apparently Abe was there almost the entire time, but he was in a mask and didn't initiate conversation. We got our pizza and made our way back to my apartment, where Turck promptly passed out on a large pillow that he brought and consequently paid the price. I got a phone call from Abe fairly quickly, and he told us where he had been. He and his friend, whose name now escapes me, came up and joined us in a showing of The Big Lebowski while we devoured our pizza. You'll be able to see the extensive furnishings in my apartment from the photos.
This is a link to the whole photo page. I preferred to show them in sequence as part of the story.
The next morning, Turck woke up with the permanent marker-drawn penis smeared unrecognizably on his forehead, and Thom kept talking to him about how it was a good thing he had cool friends that wouldn't fuck with him when he passed out. Turck nodded groggily along until he happened to go into the bathroom at my recommendation and exclaimed, "what the hell?!" which was pretty damn funny.
Thom and Turck and I watched HBO's Mr. Show DVDs on loan from Matt D while I ironed my work clothes. I ventured off eventually and was approximately 10 minutes late for work (surprise), but since when has that mattered?
I told my parents and grandparents that weekend that I was going to the Czech Republic in January, to a generally positive reaction.
I finally completed my Washington Semester application and turned it in on Tuesday. Dr. Rankin foresaw no problems with my acceptance and said that the coordinator of the program would be in next week. In anticipation of that, I may decide to shave my beard down to the goatee, since I think it looks slighty more professional (and is slightly easier to keep trimmed effectively).
After paying my rent and other bills, I have less than $250 in my account, which is just a bit worrisome with Friday night coming up and no pay day until next week. But I figure I'll make due. The bad part is that I think I'm going to need to do a few things before the end of the year. By 'a few things,' I mean buying comfortable shoes for walking around Prague, enough business attire to get me through working five days per week in DC, and I would really like to have a digital camera for my European venture. In addition, I think I'm going to finally have to bite the proverbial bullet and get a dreaded cell phone for my time in DC and beyond, kind of as a step toward entering the real world - almost. Not sure where all that money's going to come from.
I have a quiz tomorrow but nothing really stress-inducing until next week or so. That's my personal update. I may have some news-related comments tomorrow. I've been busy this week.
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