I've been feeling pretty anti-social lately. I didn't go out on Saturday. I didn't go to the party at one of the program participant's apartments on Tuesday for Mardi Gras, and I didn't go out tonight for our regular Wednesday night happy hour for the interns in our office at Union Pub. I'm in one of those 'what's the freakin' point?!' phases. I'm kind of back to how I was feeling the first week down here, which is fairly negative toward the internship....not really the internship I guess, but the town and the idea that I'm not really cut out for this sort of thing. What I mean by that is the the whole insincerity thing and how pervasive it is. I can barely deal with it, let alone put it into practice long enough to 'network' effectively. There's a big difference between utilizing connections made with genuine friends and associations formed simply because people think they might be able to get something out of the other person at some point, and there's a lot more of the latter going on around here. And that sounds stupid, because of course this isn't just a DC thing - it's everywhere. It just seems a bit closer to the surface to me now.
All that isn't to say that I haven't met some cool people down here. I like my roommates. I got fairly lucky. There are no hip-hop fans among the three of them. Classic rock and jazz seem to be the main choices, which is cool. So there are no conflicts over what we listen to as a group when we're playing cards or chilling and drinking. To someone like me, to whom what's playing - even in the background - is a huge deal, this is key. I've probably blown close to $50 just on jukebox selections in the five weeks I've been down here. To most people, that would merely sound like pure stupidity, but to me, it was worth it, because I'm in such a better mood when music that I enjoy is playing. Other people can tune it out, but I have a very hard time with that.
I also really like the people in my office. Some of them are leaving quite soon, in mid-March if not before, and that's going to be a big drag on the last five or six weeks of the time down here. We've developed a pretty good working rapport and those of us that go out for the Wednesday happy hour routine have a good relationship outside of work. I would say that we've bonded pretty well as a group. Not bad for a few weeks' worth of time anyway.
I have to be up a little after 6am tomorrow to be at the constituent coffee.
I'm back and forth on the prospect of staying down here for a job. Often, I just feel stupid, incompetent, or unqualified for my unpaid position. This happens when I have to escort visitors to the other side of the Capitol and I get lost. Normally, when you're at a place for a few weeks, you tend to develop a kind of map in your own mind and can fall back on alternate routes. I don't even know my way around my own apartment complex, and I have to write down directions just to get to Ben's place when he's 10 minutes away. I feel like I mastered things a lot faster in Fort Collins, but I think that was due to the fact that we were always looking at the map when we were looking at apartments for two weeks. I also feel like an idiot when I'm told to answer the phones at the main desk. I can barely negotiate a transfer of a call, and I continually forget to even ask who is calling. Yesterday, Paul, Tia, and Tia's dad came for a tour of the Capitol and it was really embarrassing. Even though I've accompanied about four or five other tours, I couldn't get through this one without stumbling through a majority of it. I lost track of the number of times I trailed off with 'ya know' or 'or whatever...' It was pretty bad, although they refused to admit it.
Other times, I feel like I do a pretty good job with things that are assigned to me, but then I realize that they're not exactly challenging and that dozens of other people could do them (and will probably get hired to do them other places way before I would). I'm talking about researching issues and compiling data or drafting letters to people for the senator or staff.
I'm done with my complaint rant for now. There might be more tomorrow though.
1 comment:
Alright Wyatt, the embarassment was for no good reason. I honestly think you did a good job. In fact, you were way better than the overly-enthusiastic, squeeling tour guide, with her skirt pulled up to her boobs that we encountered in the old senate meeting room. I might have puked if I were on her tour. I prefer sarcastic comments & an honest portrayal about how the some of the stories were most likely BS.
I've heard that DC is pretty bad when it comes to making contacts just to further your own agenda. That pisses me off too. Luckily, I have yet to encounter that. Part of it might be because I am around social workers instead of people on Capitol Hill. I don't know, but my vote is for you to stay in DC for a while. We'll all probably have more time to hang out over the summer anyway.
At your internship, maybe you need to advocate for yourself a little bit. Let them know you want to learn more & want more experiences....Some internships are fine with letting you do whatever just because it's easier than providing a lot of supervision and guidance. Lazy bastards!
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