Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Complaints, Grievances, and Miscellaneous Ramblings

I'm supposed to meet with members of my Science Fiction class tonight. We're discussing the "group research project" which involves the creation of a website dedicated to various Sci-Fi authors.

Brett, I know you liked Simon as a professor, but I think this might be the worst class I've had in a while. Hardly anyone wants to offer anything in the discussions, and when they actually do, you tend to wish they hadn't.

Most people in this class were apparently pulled out of a StarTrek convention so they could be cast as extras in the latest Revenge of the Nerds film, and this course must be something they do in their spare time when they aren't shooting the movie. The distressing part is that some have evidently been deprived of their normal dosage of Ritalin.

Look - I like science fiction. I read a lot of sci-fi books growing up. Arthur C. Clarke (who is not featured in the class, because for some reason we're only focusing on American writers) is one of my favorite authors. Kurt Vonnegut is regarded by many as a science fiction writer. 1984 would probably be considered science fiction, as would Huxley's Brave New World. However, the people in this class are just too much to take sometimes. I can handle funny-looking people, but usually there's not much in the way of intelligent discussion.

At least five people punctuate each sentence they speak with "like, you know - like sort of like a - you know - like - yeah - like, totally" and I want to shoot them...
Then I realize there's probably too many of them and that they would like totally like, you know, probably like totally overpower me with their like totally telekinetic like powers...like, yeah.
So it would probably be quicker just to shoot myself instead.

The professor has seemingly been influenced by this, because his level of speech tends to deteriorate the longer we're in class. His efforts to pry meaningful commentary out of the group are often laughable. Maybe not so much the effort, but certainly the results. Typically we'll sit in silence until someone just gets too hyper and their furious leg spasms are no longer a sufficient outlet for the pent-up energy of their ADHD. Then the nonsensical words just pour forth and we're all gasping for air over the rising wave of shitty analysis that has just been spewed out.

So many comments have caused me to bow my head and bite my lip in an attempt to stifle my laughter. Today before class began, the president of the 'Sci-Fi & Fantasy Gamers' Guild' (nope, I'm not making that up) was aghast that so few people from the class had shown up for the last meeting. He has now made two or three announcements in class about meeting times and seems genuinely puzzled that he hasn't gained any new recruits.

The entire class is on Listserv, which is essentially a mailing list for the course. Everyone is subscribed, so when someone sends a message, everyone gets it. When we were informed of this procedure the first day of class, a very excited girl with an underbite piped up about a program some professors use called Blackboard. She advocated the use of Blackboard either instead of, or in addition to Listserv. She seemed like she was getting rather wet just talking about Blackboard...her speech quickened and she became flushed as she related the joy, wisdom, and convenience of discussion boards, 'digital drop boxes,' and on and on.

Professor Simon, who initially showed no interest in modifying his standard Listserv procedure, could not resist such an impassioned plea and was ultimately forced to create a Blackboard account for the class. Now besides the multitude of stupid and pointless emails going through the Listserv (and consequently into my Inbox) and the course website - which is updated at an alarming pace with pages and pages of information I will never, ever read - we're now responsible for checking the announcements on the Blackboard site.

Quite the cast of characters. The disheartening thing is that this 200-level English class occupies just as much time - if not more - than the 300- and 400-level History classes (which is my actual major) I'm taking. Twelve books to go through in a 15-week semester. The reading's not enough, however. We also have to do all this outside work on the freaking website that no one in the real world (but perhaps in the world of the Sci-Fi/Fantasy Gamers' Guild) will ever visit. Absolutely maddening.

4 comments:

nathan said...

I always get wet when I use Blackboard. In fact.....OHHHHHHHH!

Wyatt said...

I also enjoy Star Trek (and William Shatner in particular...I have the Has Been CD).

My point was that these people fit the stereotypical model of a "Trekkie" obsessive in many respects. I think you can be a fan of the show without putting on Vulcan ears, proclaiming everything illogical, and making the Vulcan hand sign.

One kid wore a tshirt the first day of class that had a picture of a wizard on it, accompanied by the caption - "Practice Safe Hex."
The next week, a girl wore a shirt letting everyone know that "Chewbacca is my Co-Pilot."

Wyatt said...

Well, I think I mentioned that I actually like Science Fiction. I wanted an English class (that I thought would be easy) to balance the THREE history courses and one Political Science course I'm taking.

Obviously, I didn't realize it was going to be a freak show.

Anonymous said...

Well, I think your class should try some kind of blog thing. That way everyone can comment and what not without bombarding everyone else with e-mail. I know some teachers do that in the grade schools so kids can post pieces of writing and everyone in the class can comment. I really am not familiar with listserv, although Brett tried to explain it to me. My professors have always been big on Blackboard. So maybe you can wear a cool t-shirt, stand up in front of the class, get all excited and tell everyone that there may be another alternative.