Real Productive

I'm supposed to be writing an essay right now for my Contemporary Novel class. It's due tomorrow, of course. Why else would I be working on it at all?

But of course I'm not working on it. I could also be studying for my Globalism midterm or revising my resume that I need to type up for the DC internship. Or I could be reading the analysis of Nixon's foreign policy on which I need to base a paper that's due next Monday for my American Century class. I could also be researching for my PoliSci project, the deadline for which was just extended to next Monday (which necessitates further procrastination).

Instead, my stomach bursting from a late-night trip to Wendy's (why would I make my own food when I can shovel grease into my mouth by the handful?) and a semi-complacent glaze settling over my eyes, I'm perusing my email folder and finding something I wrote almost exactly one year ago, which was quoted back to me as part of an abbreviated reply -

"Every girl I see, meet, or talk to I desperately want to be you in all ways and when they're not I'm always disappointed. What I mean is, when I talk to anyone or anyone talks to me and they don't talk the way you used to or bring up things you always did, I'm let down. Some of the things that I'm expecting or anticipating are even some things that occasionally annoyed me at the time you said them. Just little observations or little questions that you used to ask me. Always so broad and far reaching meaningful questions about how it felt to see things or feel things and sometimes I knew exactly what you were talking about and loved it, but sometimes I was stupid and impatient and brushed them aside, like "what are you talking about and why are you asking me this now" and now I want in the worst way to be asked those questions and I want it to be you asking me."

In another message about seven weeks later, I received some advice. "Don't be too stubborn and cling onto us when you could be missing out on great opportunities. You can't dwell on the past. You need to live right now, because that's what is the most real."

Man - it's a good thing I followed those instructions. Otherwise, I'd be really screwed up.

Suppose someone asked you to convey a belief that you held using simple mathematical terms.

Me = Hopeless

This would be one of many correct answers.