So I'm at home now, which means that I'm suffering with an agonizingly slow internet connection and an outdated computer that's probably full of viruses that slow it down even more. My homepage is constantly set to weird sites no matter how many times I change it. And no, they're not porn sites. What does this all mean to you? That means a reduction in fancy posts with lots of links to other sites. However, I thought I should say a few things before my blog gets stale, so to speak.
Abe has recently started a blog. It provides an opportunity to look into the mind of one of the most unique and fun people I've known in my life. You should check it out if you haven't already done so. Thus far, Abe's posts have gone pretty much in the direction I originally saw this blog heading into, and it's somewhat startling to see how similarly Abe and I think about posting our thoughts and feelings for the whole world, or at least for those with computers and a knowledge of English. I think it is a form of vanity in many ways. We - and I mean all of us who have started one of these things - obviously feel like we have something to share, something to provide to people. You may notice that I've 'installed' a site meter at the bottom of the page, which is certainly an ego thing...I want to know how many people look at my blog, how many are exposed to these 'words of wisdom' or foolishness, if you like. I too have written in journals, only to begin writing as if someone else would be reading it. And when I died, it seems increasingly likely that they would have. One doesn't have to be famous to have their belongings rummaged through and perused by nosy relatives. And even if Courtney Love isn't your wife, it seems like your thoughts will eventually be known to anyone who desires to know them, as long as you've taken the time to write them down.
I may never be a good writer, because I have that flaw of writing for others and not for myself. I would think that someone who does write for a living and writes well would be writing for himself or herself first. I remember 11th grade and that "great book" for which Ben and I were going to alternate chapters. I constantly had my half with me and was showing it to anyone who expressed an interest, which must have been pretty annoying. My handwritten pages met their doom in Kilcoyne's French class (which was a glorified unsupervised study hall) when I didn't feel they were getting their proper amount of respect. Twenty-some pages ripped to shreds.
Too bad I couldn't write like that for my W. European Politics class, eh?
On that note...
So I checked my grades on Wednesday. When I saw them, I began to laugh hysterically, not believing my eyes. Despite all logic and reason, I had pulled off a 3.6 GPA. I got the A's in McCord's US History 1945-Present and Cold War Film as expected. I only got an A- in Modern British Literature, which was really dumb on my part. I had not written a minor supplement to a class presentation that had been deemed too short. Otherwise, that could easily have been another A. But the real surprises were Western European Politics, which was a B+, and in Comparative North America, which was a B.
In WestEuroPoliSci, I only turned in seven pages for the required twenty, and I had only written 800 words for the required 1250 on the take-home final essay. Professor Muller had actually emailed the class two days before and warned that the grades were higher than normal, but not due to an increase in the amount or quality of the work. He asked us not to ask him to justify some of the marks. I had an inkling that I might get something better than a C after reading that, but a B+ was quite a shock.
In Comparative North America, I had turned in about five pages for a take-home final for which there was an established 10-12 page limit. I had answered only 7/10 of Part I, about 15% of Part II, and seemingly 1/5 of Part III. The last two portions of the exam were both essay format, and made up the bulk of the points. The exam itself was worth a whopping 340 points, out of a possible 1000 for the course. I turned in a required 5-7 page paper (which was actually complete) exactly two weeks late, two days before grades had to be in. The paper was worth 240 points. Long story short, without going into the math of how I could possibly have gotten a B: I was ecstatic. I had pretty much expected a D, and before I knew I could still turn the paper in to him (Editor's Note: Due to the first comment posted here...I shall give credit where credit should have been given. I only found out that I could possibly turn the paper in late after an MSN messenger conversation with anonymous AKA Steph. A thank you is in order and I was remiss in not acknowledging her role in my unexpected good fortune), I was expecting to fail the course entirely. The professor is my advisor, and I was thinking of ways to avoid seeing him ever again while thinking of what I would have to do procedurally to officially change advisors. I may still do that, since he sent me a fairly nasty email that simultaneously chastised me and allowed me to turn in the paper late. He was pretty sarcastic in the message, and I thought, "wow, what a prick," which is exactly how people must feel about me - fairly often, I would imagine. But I have a good time with it, so I'm not likely to stop anytime soon.
I had a decent Christmas. I slept at my grandparents' house last night (and will likely sleep there tonight as well) because I don't have a bed here at my parents' house. My big, beautiful, luxurious Queen-sized bed that I love so much is at my apartment. Anyway, I was reading last night until about 1, after not having slept more than five hours at Ben's house the night before. Ben, Matt, Thom, and I had enjoyed some wine while conversing among ourselves before going into the side room to watch Napoleon Dynamite, which is a fairly amusing film. I would recommend viewing a legitimate, non-downloaded version on something larger than a typical laptop screen, if you can swing it. It's pretty funny, although the wine probably did most of the work to put me in a light-hearted mood. After the movie, Thom and Matt drove home and Ben and I stayed up talking, as we have been apt to do for the past six or seven years. Of course, Ben and I have had our strained moments, with Senior Year - Sabreena, Alana, and the great yearbook incident, which Ben likes to remind me of as often as he can manage it... but our friendship has endured basically since 10th grade or so. He and I can talk for hours about anything and everything, and spending time with him is something that I always look forward to - usually just around the holidays now that he's out in the real world with a real job.
Working in retail - assaulted with constant Christmas music while being berated by angry customers - does not put me in the 'holiday spirit.' However, this is usually the time where I can count on being around friends that I haven't seen in a while, and it's the one part of the holidays that actually puts me in a good mood. Two years ago after the whole Destini thing, nightmares galore based on that mess, desires to end it all, and with college falling apart on top of everything else - it was my friends being home that saved me. It seemed like I was at a small get-together every night at Kristen's house or Paul's house or Turck's place during that time. At that time, work was good for me too, because it was busy and it was an opportunity for me to stop thinking about things. The drawback was that I had to drive past her car parked outside of the fucking cokehead's apartment every morning on my way to work and think about what she had been doing there and why she was staying the night. Which is a hell of a drawback, of course. It ultimately cemented my move to Colorado. But yeah...so when I got to work, the mall was packed and no one was talking about anything that reminded me of her, which was rare in itself. Then I would get a call at work, inviting me to come out to Kristen's or Paul's or wherever it happened to be that night. Of course drinking certainly helped too, but I had no particular desire to turn into an alcoholic. But the drinking allowed me to come out of my reserved shell a little bit and enjoy both my friends and myself a little more. And often, it ensured that I would not be driving past her car again parked outside of the apartment, since I did that just about every night at least once, apparently to torture myself, since I pretty much knew she was going to be there. Is this paragraph long enough yet?
December-January 2002-2003 was also my first interaction with John Bisignano, alternately referred to on this blog as John or Biz. I had a great time with John and when it came time to decide whether or not to move out to Colorado with he and Steve (Kristen's brother, whom I already knew I got along with) a month later, it sealed the deal. We had a great time out there, and even though not everything worked out as planned (when does it? and having an accident in your roommate's car isn't exactly part of the plan either...), I look at it now as an absolutely essential experience - certainly one that paved the way for me to come back to school, which I think is a good thing. It also made John into a guy I consider one of my closest friends, even though he's usually far away (and he'll be even further away in Spain, Morocco, and Tanzania over the next few months!), he's among those select people I think I'll always be in touch with throughout my life. I do not think I can pay a higher compliment.
Alright (does anyone else type 'alright,' or do you all type 'all right?' I'm not sure if I'm incorrect or if it's just a variation, or if it is not really a proper word or contraction at all and I'm just making it up...). Well, there's more to say. There always is. As is often the case, I didn't really go where I thought I was going to go with this post. But there's time for that, I think. And my readers - ha - can only stand so much at a time. I think I wrote previously about my periods of reflection and reflective moods or whatever. I guess I have them fairly often, and I think I've finally gotten a little bit of that wistful holiday spirit tonight. Too bad I have to work tomorrow. It'll probably be sapped out of me in record time with some whiny bastard with a $29 DVD player that - SURPRISE! - doesn't work...
Anyway - Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and all that. Even though I think I'm pretty much a deist, but that's another topic entirely. We might cover that some other time. I think it's something I'd rather talk about than type, but we'll see.
In any event, enjoy the season and enjoy those around you. Take advantage of the time you have with the people that you love. You never know how much you've got.
2 comments:
Another post from your anonymous friend--I felt that I needed to comment on the alright/all right section of your post. I write 'all right' as does at least one of my other friends. I believe that my 12th grade English teacher told us that 'all right' was the correct way to write it. However, now after I say that it seems as though her concern was about 'already' and 'all ready'. Both of which I think are correct depending on their usage. Back to my quickly diminishing point--I just looked up 'alright' in Webster's New English Dictionary and the definition is "a frequent spelling of all right." So my conclusion is that 'alright' has come to be accepted as have so many other words in the English language I suppose.
On a completely unrelated note--although I have no holiday spirit this year, I hope that anyone who reads this enjoys their holidays, at least a little more than myself.
Oh yeah and a message to the author of this blog--I thought I was getting some credit for at least one of your improved grades since I mentioned to you that I believed grades were due later than you had thought. But then again, I am anonymous. (Here I would insert one of those annoying faces from Instant Messenger where the smiley guy has his tongue out).
Good job on your grades! I used to write alright, but now I'm in the habit of all right because I read somewhere that alright is a commonly misspelled word, but already is cool. You might want to contact Dale Tuggy from the philosophy department at Fredonia. I believe he's a deist as well and he can point out resources if you're so inclined, and maybe you'll want to take his philosophy of religion course. He's not the funnest teacher, but he's really cool, and he's a diehard Who fan.
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